Alex has told me that when he was a kid and he wanted to do something that was too expensive for his family to afford his parents would often answer, "if you've got the money, honey, I got the time."
Up until recently time was something I've felt I've never had much of. When I was working 40 hours a week I felt every precious second of every live-long-day needed to be used to it's utmost potential... and it seemed like my wish list of things I wanted to get done never, ever received the coveted check mark signifying it's completion (for those of you reading this who have children I am reading your thoughts... just wait until you have kids!). With the exception of wishing to satiate my HUGE desire to travel and to learn the tango, most of the things I wished I had time to do actually didn't require money. Most of the time all I wanted to do was finish up a sewing project, read a book, call a friend, spend quality time hanging out with my husband, practice guitar, write some thank-yous or bake.
Lately I've had nothing but time on my hands. It's freeing. It's exhilarating. And it's overwhelming.
For the first time since high school I've been given a brief window of opportunity to have all the time I desire at my disposal to do with what I will... and not be worried about money at the same time. Don't get me wrong; the date of August 12th when my severance runs out is still looming in my not so distant future and I am working hard to find employment again (my portfolio is almost finished, w00t). But for now... what to do?
I challenged myself with the usage of my new found free time last Wednesday by volunteering at my church's summer camp for kids. I like children. They bring out the wild, creative silly side in me and I LOVE playing and giggling with them. But I will be the first to tell you that large groups of children SEVERELY FRIGHTEN ME. I could never be a teacher. The idea of managing 30 curtain-climbers for any length of time nearly causes me to faint. I helped lead the 4th graders. Thankfully there were not 30 of them. But there were only two of us (leaders) and fifteen of them.
Before I tell you how things turned out, let me tell you why I did it. Time is our most precious commodity. In fact, it is the one thing that we can always give. Whether you are rich or poor, young or old, educated or uneducated, time is the one thing we all have in ample supply. It is often, too, the one thing we are most stingy with. Many of us would much rather write a check to support a ministry or foundation than actually drive some place and offer our hands and feet to get some work done or meet a need. I am one of those people myself. Sometimes it is fear that stops me. But usually it's laziness or selfishness.
Don't worry; I'm not about to turn this post into a bleeding-heart-liberal-granola-crunching-tree-hugger-indi-rock-elitest-snob diatribe of "You should feel bad for being employed and having money and living in the suburbs" and beat you over the head with a big, all natural stick of Social Justice.
We all have time. And God calls us to do different things with our time at different points in our lives. As Alexander is fond of saying, where would the ministries that help the hungry and homeless get their funding if there weren't people working full time jobs to earn the money to put in the offering plate on Sundays?
Up until eleven days ago, God had called me to earn a paycheck working 40 hours a week, and that meant I simply did not have time for some things. As I mentioned earlier, when I was employed my time was most precious to me, and I often chose very carefully how I would spend it. I would get down on myself if i felt I had wasted time, or if I hadn't accomplished everything I wanted to in a given evening or weekend. But now, things are different.
I thought for sure that with my new found free time I'd end up focusing on just getting stuff done that I had been meaning to get done for the past three years (one day, black-ankle-length-skirt I will finish sewing you!). But oddly enough, God has laid four surprising desires on my heart: rest, re-evaluation, fellowship and volunteering. I have yet to touch my sewing machine, but I have spent a lot of time getting to know my husband better. I have yet to touch my guitar, but I have spent a lot of time in prayer, searching my soul to figuring out what I want and what God wants for me in a career. I still have a stack of cards to write and send out, but I have enjoyed some wonderful time with friends and getting to know some people from church better. I have yet to run off to Hawaii (although I have applied for a job in Honolulu), but I did spend an afternoon with a bunch of 9 and 10-year-olds talking about God while drawing pictures in charcoal before singing songs with hand motions.
If you're working that full-time job, then God bless you and I pray He gives you a generous heart and makes you a wise steward of your money.
If you're busily raising kids right now, then God bless you and I pray He gives you patience and wisdom and edifies what you are doing daily (don't you dare ever let anyone make you feel like what you're doing isn't important... none of us would be here if it weren't for mothers).
If you're volunteering and serving the homeless and needy right now, then God bless you and I pray He protects you and gives you resilience and the strength of spirit that you need to deal with the brokenness of humanity.
If you're a student right now, then God bless you and I pray that He will give you diligence and dedication to achieve excellence in your studies, and that He will guide you in your future career choices.
And if, like me, you are job searching right now, then God bless you, and I pray He will give you patience, peace and wisdom, and that He will sustain your spirit with hope, and that you may find joy in discovering new ways to use your free time.
No matter where you are in life, and no matter what you are doing, I encourage you to check in with God once in a while, and be open to His promptings. You just never know when He might ask you to try something new or give in a way you haven't before.
Oh, and the summer camp? I'll probably go back on Wednesday.
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