Lately I've Been Feeling Low

The final grind as I press on toward the end of the semester is upon me. Quite heavily, I might add. The last few weeks I have been greatly frustrated at my poor time management skills. I intend to study a little bit each day before a test and suddenly it's the day before the test and I haven't really studied at all. Somehow I've been managing to stay afloat, but it often feels like just barely.

Amidst the struggles I've questioned what I'm doing. The harsh reality is that at bare minimum my schooling endeavor will take another 2.5 years to complete. There is just no way around it because of the program's clinicals. I simply cannot go any faster. That is daunting, because I feel as though all I've been doing the last 4 years of my life is waiting. It isn't as though Alex and I haven't been growing or making any sort of headway. We are actually very close to paying off one of our student loans and I know that we have both matured in our marriage and deepened our faith. But there is something about not having a career that you feel fulfilled in and are excited to grow in that seems to leave an overshading.

Perhaps we have become fixated? It is difficult to say. Oddly enough, whenever I start to feel blue about our career/schooling situations I start to have whimsical fantasies about working in a cute bakery. But then I remind myself about what a sweet deal I have going on with being able to attend school for free, and that working in a bakery is something I can easily do at any point in my life.

Dave Ramsey often says that children do what feels good, adults make a plan and stick to it because delayed gratification shows maturity. I believe it and I want to live it, but... darn it, I'm tired and I want a cookie.