Friday, August 21, 2009

God cares about your class schedule


Signing up for classes is frustrating when you do it just a week and a half before classes are due to begin. All the good stuff is taking up. For me that included everything that I needed to take.

You see, the OT program is a Masters degree. I got a BA so I'm set there, but I still need to fill some prerequisite courses in order to even apply for the program. I decided that I would do this at the local community college since I was already enrolled there (I had been pondering their Culinary Arts program). Yesterday during my meeting with the adviser at GVSU I was given a list of equivalent transfer classes I can take at GRCC. Feeling solid and excited about my new chosen direction I rushed home to sign up for classes online. There were three I needed to take: Algebra, Pyschology and Anatomy & Physiology.

All three were full.

I was determined, however, and, armed with a transcript from Calvin, went to speak with an adviser at GRCC this morning. I asked her if any of the credits I had from my undergrad would cover some of the courses I needed. It was a long shot. I had been a music/art major during college and highly doubted that Music Appreciation and Art History were adequate substitutes for biology and math. But you never know unless you ask. As expected nothing I had would cover what I needed.

The adviser informed me that I should keep checking the available classes. She said that if people don't pay their tuition they get dropped from the class and that people change their minds right up through the first week of class about what they are going to take. She checked her email and told me that the system had just been reset from the day before and that I should look as soon as I had the time because something may have opened up.

I debated about checking on campus or just waiting until I went home. I found my way over to the student life office and got an ID card made (woohoo student discounts all over again!) and got some info about parking before I finally decided I might as well just look. I walked over to the enrollment office and sat down at an available computer. I checked and all three of the classes I needed were still full.

Feeling discouraged I prayed, "God, what should I do? I really feel like this is the direction you are pointing me in and I need these classes. I don't want to wait until next semester to get started." I decided to check just one more time. Mind you this was about two minutes after my initial check.

All three of the classes I needed were suddenly open and they had exactly ONE SEAT EACH.

God is amazing. His timing is perfect and He often does things in ways that cause us to see just how amazing He is and how much He truly cares about us. Even the little things! Who the heck am I that the creator of the universe should care about my class schedule? And I know He does, not just because I got what I needed but because God answered another prayer in the doing of it. Alex and I had been concerned that because I was registering so late I would end up with all night classes and we would never see each other. When God opened up all those classes for me He picked ones that would get me home in time for dinner and be free for the rest of the evening. What a blessing!

So after five years away, come August 31st I'll be a student again. What an adventure. Whoever thought being a follower of Jesus is boring never met my God.

Thursday, August 13, 2009

Close Encounters of the Relative Kind

Last Saturday my father called to tell me that my grandmother, his mom, had passed away during the night. It wasn’t at all unexpected. She was 92 and living in a nursing home. I did not have much of a relationship with my grandmother. Not because there were any sort of hard feelings. Far from it. She was a fine woman who raised seven kids all by herself in a rural area of North Carolina (my dad grew up on a cotton and tobacco farm). My dad would call her on Sundays and she would always tell me to “be sweet“. The lack of relationship was simply a matter of distance. She lived nearly 800 miles away. The last time I saw any of my father’s relatives was 8 years ago. So I really just did not know her. The feelings of sadness I had were completely due to the fact that I knew my father was hurting.

My grandmother’s health had been rapidly deteriorating for the past few years. My father told me that he was happy God took her home. That was not surprising. But what he asked me next was. He asked me if I wanted to go to the funeral.

I will admit that my first reaction was to say decline the invitation. Riding in a car for 13 hours to go see relatives I have no connection with for something as depressing as a funeral was not my idea of fun. However, I was the only family member available to travel with my dad. Alex pointed out that it would be a good opportunity for me to simply spend some with my father, and that since I was not employed I really didn’t have an excuse. I couldn’t argue with that. And really, how heartless would I have to be to make my dad go to his mother’s funeral by himself? I know that I sure would want someone I loved to come with me. Besides, the title of this blog is “Adventures in Unemployment”, and traveling across the country with my pops to have a close encounter of the relative kind sure fits that bill.

So on Sunday afternoon my dad drove over from the other side of the state to pick me up. It’s about a two and a half hour drive from GR to my folks‘ house. It did not take long for the ease with which I converse with my father to unfold. It’s something that I’m thankful for. We stopped for dinner at a Quizno’s and talked about random things. At one point we listened to a Dave Matthew’s Band CD and Dad’s conclusion was that he had heard better. We got back to my folks’ house and I was able to chat with my mom and show both of my parents the photos I had taken while in Mexico.

At 5am the following morning we hit the road. The trip in and of itself was pretty straight forward. We talked about many things: music, God, faith, careers, family, relationships. We rocked out to some top radio hits from the 70's and I exposed him to the melodic delights of U2, DMB, Ben Harper and Jars of Clay. At one point my built in ice cream radar had me choose a rest stop that just happened to have a Dairy Queen in it. I discovered that my mother isn't the only parent that has a penchant for the sweet, heavenly goodness of ice cream.

When we arrived at my grandmother's house my dad's oldest sister, my Aunt Mona, had already arrived up from Atlanta. There was an instant warmth about her towards me and I think it is largely due to the fact that she thinks of my dad kind of like her baby. She was 15 when my father was born and pretty much raised him because Grandma was working hard to earn money to care for them all.

My uncle Gene and aunt Silvia live in a double wide right next door to my grandmother's house. For the last five years it was they who cared for my grandmother before they moved her to a home. I love my uncle. He is the closest in age to my father and looks a lot like him. He has a handlebar mustache and usually wears a belt buckle big enough to be his ID. He loves to sing and is quite the story teller. He came over to say hello, but the reunion was short because we had to get to the funeral home for the viewing.

This is only the second time in my life I have seen a dead body. And actually it is the second time within the last year (the last one was a co-worker's elderly father). I had always been a little freaked out by dead bodies because they don't look natural. You can tell they aren't sleeping and something literally looks like it's missing. It is strange to think that only after death is a person's soul visible, and it's only visible because it's no longer there and you notice it's absence. I also have entirely too wild of an imagination and even though I know it's not going to happen I am sort of waiting in anticipation for the person to sit up and scare the living the daylights out of me (one too many zombie movies I guess). Thankfully that did not happen. Grandma actually looked pretty nice.

I stuck close to my dad's side during the viewing. I didn't know anyone else, really, although I was introduced to several people through the night. Oddly enough so was Dad. He met relatives he didn't even know he had, too. It seems that many people knew and loved Grandma. At one point during the evening I slipped outside to call Alex and he asked me if I was surrounded by a war party (for those of you who don't know my dad's side of the family is Cherokee).

After the viewing Dad and I were extremely hungry; we hadn't had any time to eat dinner before we left the house. We drove down the road to a nearby place called Smithfield's and bought some BBQ Pork Sandwiches. We sat up talking with my aunt for a little while before bed.

The next morning a woman from the funeral home actually came to Grandma's house with a limo and picked Aunt Mona, Uncle Gene, Aunt Silvia, Dad and me up. We went to Bethel Baptist Church (where Dad had gone to church as a kid) for the service. I was happy because the pastors who spoke really focused on the fact that this was only a temporary goodbye and we would see Maudie Lawson again on the other side of glory.

Dad and I were the only ones who stuck around to see the actual burial take place. I had never seen one before so I was curious, but for Dad it was about closure; for him it wasn't over until the earth was settled.

There was a small reception inside the church's fellowship with drinks and snacks, but it did not take long for things to wind down and soon we were on our way home. I was not sure what to expect from my relatives after the service, but no one was terribly wrought with anguish or grief. I think it's because Grandma had been on her way out for so long that there was more rejoicing than mourning in that day. She is finally whole and happy with Jesus.

My aunts and uncle took Dad and me to a real southern style buffet for lunch. I enjoyed some spectacular fried chicken and biscuits. After that we hung out at Grandma's house until later that evening when my Uncle Albert and his wife, Gayle, came over with their 4-year-old son, J.J. I ended up being on kid duty (thanks for volunteering me, Dad!) while everyone else listened to Uncle Gene read Grandma's will. The night ended with peach cobbler and some ice cream (YUM).

The next morning Uncle Gene and Aunt Silvia came over to have coffee and chat for a bit. It was really the first chance I had gotten to speak with them about something other than family affairs, and I appreciated the opportunity. Soon, though, Dad and I had packed the car and we were on our way back up to the mitten.

I like traveling with Dad. Here is a sample of how our navigating works:
-Check GPS for route
-Double check directions printed off from Yahoo
-Find discrepency between the two and pull out road map provided by AAA
-Decide to make up our own route and delight in tourturing the GPS
-Change our minds and decide to follow the GPS
-Check the map again and compare it with the Yahoo directions and decide to go with what Yahoo says
-Make a pit stop and find that once again my ice cream radar is functioning properly (Dairy Queen!)
-Check GPS for route and decide to make up our own
-Find out that Yahoo directions and GPS are actually agreeing and change our minds to follow them
-repeat

The cool function of the Garmin is that you can look up restaurants. Dad and I had been living off of fast food mostly so he decided that for dinner on the way home we need to eat at an actual restaurant. He said he felt like popcorn shrimp so i used the GPS to search for a Red Lobster. How cool is that? We had dinner in Toledo and made it back to GR around midnight.

I wasn't sure what to expect on my trip with my Dad. But I am so happy I went.

Friday, August 07, 2009

What would you do if you knew you could not fail?

Lately I have found myself struggling with thoughts of what to do with my life. Perhaps that shouldn't be surprising considering that I'm unemployed and was feeling unhappy in my last job. I have been struggling greatly with the thought of myself as a graphic designer. I have been looking at other designer's online portfolios and have been consistently, painfully, blown away at how much better their work is compared to mine. I cannot not help but wonder if when I send in my resume to companies if they go to my portfolio and think, "She's worked for five years and this is all she has to show for it? What a joke!"

I can't be surprised if that's the case. If I were truthful to myself I would say that Baker was always just a job for me. I've known other designers or artists and they live and breath their work. They are creating and designing and reading about design and thinking and talking about design outside of their office. They love it. They are wholeheartedly dedicated to it. And I never was.

Outside of the office I never read magazines or blogs about design. If you asked me what the latest trend in design is I couldn't tell you. When I left the office I LEFT the office. I spent time reading cookbooks and fitness magazines. I would work on sewing projects. I'd bake and talk on the phone with friends and hang out with Alex. I wouldn't think about design. I wouldn't peruse the internet reading articles and looking at other people's work. Several times I even tried to motivate myself to learn HTML and web design because I knew it would help me but I never could make myself just sit down and do it.

Before you tell me that I am being too hard on myself, that no one does the things I have written, stop. The reality of the matter is that there are indeed people involved in the creative design field that do those very things. I know a few. It's not to say that they don't have lives and are not social, but they are very dedicated to their craft. It excites them. They live and breath it.

I do not. And perhaps I can never be.

It is a startling conclusion. I've felt dissatisfied for quite some time now and I am beginning to suspect that it may be because I am missing something. I am missing dedication. For the last five years I have dabbled in this and that, doing a little of this and a little of that, and really just scratching the surface of many things. My personality, by default, is attracted to randomness. Call it a short attention span if you want but really it's just that I am excited by change. That is a strength and a weakness. My desire to avoid the mundane and routine is most likely what has allowed me to survive the ups and downs of the past three years so well. And yet, I know that it makes it hard for me to dedicate myself to becoming truly exceptional at something.

I am currently sitting in a Starbucks in Gaslight Village (a small, quaint, almost disgustingly idyllic wealthy part of GR filled with boutiques, salons and restaurants) and on my way here I mused over whether or not Mozart ever wished he had been a baker, or if Steve Jobs (CEO of Apple for those of you with your head under a rock) wished he would have been a tour guide, of if Michael Phelps wishes he would have been a veterinarian, or if even Mother Teresa wished she would have gone to cosmetology school (probably not, but I'm trying to make a point here). It seems that people in our world who we would consider truly exceptional are those who dedicate their entire lives to perfecting a certain craft, ability or calling.

The possibility that I have been afraid of missing something and thus not just picking one thing and sticking with it has haunted me of late. I don't think it's because I feel like I can't, but just because what if it ends up not being just perfect for me? I will have wasted too much effort and time that I can never get back. At yet, each path grows shorter the longer I stay.

And so I have decided to ask myself a question. If I cannot dedicate myself to design, truly living and breathing it and feeling invigorated by it, what can I dedicate myself to? Actually, an even more important question is one that I ask you, dear reader:

What would you do if you knew you could not fail?

Whoa. Scary, huh? Think about it for a moment. Don't worry about what's the most logical... don't worry about what's the safest. What would you do? Would you become a doctor? Would you move to Hawaii and open a resort? Would you become a writer or a pastor? I believe that this question reveals the deepest longings of our hearts. Ask the question to yourself. What would you do if you knew you couldn't fail? Perhaps the happiest person in the world would answer, "Exactly what I'm doing right now."

Me? It's only fair for me to answer my own question. I would open a small bakery and coffee/tea shop in a disgustingly idyllic neighborhood like Gaslight Village. I'd offer fresh baked delights like donuts, scones, muffins and cakes. I'd give discounts to veterans and police, fire, military and EMT personal. I'd be closed on Sundays and open early Monday through Friday. I'd offer classes to people that wanted to learn how to make a popover and on Friday and Saturday nights I'd invite local musicians (jazz and classical) to showcase their skills. And maybe if I got really ambitious I'd learn how to make candies and start offering those, too.

The second thing I'd do if I knew I could not fail would be to become a professional classical guitar maestro. Oh yeah. Don't know if I could make any money doing that, but it is a desire.

So, we'll see what happens over the next few weeks. I am not certain what God has in store for me, but I do know that I'm tired of doing the same thing and I am in search of a passion that I can live for.

Perhaps in the end I will find that it was design all along and I just needed to take a break. If not, I will be playing Bach's Partita for lute in E Major while offering free samples of tarts and coffee at my shop's open house.

Monday, July 27, 2009

Day 4: In which we have our first day of VBS, find there isn't enough to do, and get dive-bombed by a chicken

Day four dawned and we started it with cornflakes. I am beginning to think that no matter where you go in the world you will find cornflakes. Don't get me wrong, I am not complaining. It is far from my favorite breakfast cereal but it is a little piece of home. We also had coffee and some kind of sweet bread which I promptly discovered tasted excellent dipped in my Nescafe.

We left for the church and arrived a good 45 minutes before any children were due to descend upon us. About half of our group was scheduled to work construction and the rest VBS. Alex was with the construction group so I followed him out back to get a view from the roof before the day's activities got rolling.

When you walk through the doorway in the back of fellowship hall you have to turn right because a very tall retaining wall is directly in front of you. The retaining wall is built of brick and runs parallel to the church's back wall for about 10 feet. This trench opens up into a large back lawn area of the church's property. Directly to the right and about a good 13 feet below is the home of another family (plus 4 or 5 dogs and a slew of cats and kittens that hang out on the roof of a shed). To the left the wall cuts at a 90-degree angle and continues for about 15 feet before turning again at another 90 degrees and marking off the edge of the church's property. The wall itself holds back solid earth and creates a small grassy area right across from the church building and directly next to another family's home. Above that is the church's roof where the construction is taking place.

The actual construction project is to build a third story onto the church which will be a new home for the pastor and his wife. Currently they are renting, so having a home of their own right above the church they serve and love will help a great deal. Getting to the roof is OSHA's worst nightmare. First there is a makeshift ramp built out of random bits of 2x4s and plywood that leads from the ground to the top of the retaining wall. From there you have to walk up a steep pathway (that's easy to slip on) to an equally steep, second makeshift ramp, which is also made out of random bits of 2x4s and plywood. Going up actually isn't that bad. It's coming down that's a slight bit nerve racking. I get the impression that the Mexican workers are used to it, however. I imagine they must get a kick out of watching me carefully, slowly, plotting and inching my way down the ramps.

Regardless, it gets the job done. And the view from the roof is well worth it. The church sits on a hill and provides one amazing vantage point of Mexico City and it's outlaying areas. Rolling hills covered in green and dotted with concrete houses give way to low lying, fluffy white clouds that are cut through with snow capped mountain peaks and plateaus, all against the backdrop of a gorgeous cerulean sky.

I went back down and soon the kids started arriving. The pastor greeted everyone and we began to sing a few songs. The first one I actually knew. It was "The Lord's Army" and they even used the same motions with it that I learned when I was a kid. How fun! After the singing the children were split up in age groups (4-6, 7-9, 10-12). I hadn't been assigned to work crafts or games, so I decided to stay with the 4-6 age group simply because Debbie (my ridiculously cute, 5-year-old host sister) is in that group.

We stayed in the sanctuary and the adult leaders told a Bible story and helped the children with the memory scripture verse for the day. Periodically someone had to use the bathroom and I feared that I would be asked to take someone. All I could think about was one of those little children falling into the toilet that had no toilet seat and me not being able to understand that they needed help with something because I don't speak Spanish. An unfounded fear, perhaps, but in the moment it seemed pretty legitimate. Thankfully I never had to serve as a bathroom attendant and the group went downstairs for craft time.

The theme of VBS is the Armor of God. So today's craft was centered around the Belt of Truth. All the kids got a long strip of cotton cloth and were given markers and stickers to decorate their belts with. I helped draw a few items, but mostly just took pictures.

After this it was snack time and all the children came to the fellowship area to dine on meatballs and rice. I was impressed. When I was growing up snack time at VBS consisted of stale cookies and sugary fruit flavored drinks that burned the back of my throat. These kids had meatballs! And fresh, handmade ones, at that.

At one point during the snack time I noticed Jane playing Cat's Cradle with one of the Mexican teens. I joined in and so did some other kids. I have come to the conclusion that, like cornflakes, cat's cradle is something you'll find no matter what country you're in. And the best part is that you don't need to speak the same language to teach people how to play. You just have to show them. And it's so much fun.

After snack time everyone went back up to the sanctuary to sing more songs. I ended up getting recruited to the front of the room to help lead with motions because I knew the song. It was one I had LOVED singing as a child in my own church. You divide the room in half and each half sings a different part of the song. It's great fun, especially if you turn it into a competition to see who can sing it louder.

After singing it was game time for the youngest group of kids so we went outside to the back lawn area of the church. The Mexican men and folks from our group were hard at work on the construction and were in the process of tossing and carrying bricks up to the roof. I watched as a few men on the ground lifted up bricks in stacks to people waiting atop the retaining wall. Those people in turn would pass the bricks on to other people who would then carry them up the ramp to the roof. Alex and a few other guys, however, tossed them to each other and up to the roof. Thankfully each brick only weighed about 3lbs, but it still would have hurt to have gotten hit by one. Alex is pretty serious about safety, however, so I wasn't concerned.

After the games were done everyone gathered one last time in the sanctuary to sing a few more songs (I love these people... they love to sing almost more than I do!) and review the scripture verse for the day. The children slowly left but our day was far from over. For the rest of the afternoon we would be helping with construction.

Before that, however, it was lunch time for our group. We would be going to the pastor's current home again to eat (just like we did the first day we were here). It was suggested that we all walk and everyone in our group agreed that sounded like a nice idea. We left the church and walked down a very steep hill that was lined with houses. The road was actually under construction and so we had to carefully make our way, single file, down the winding and narrow street, avoiding the large crevasses and jagged rocks that were piled on one side. We actually passed by some of the construction workers who were taking a siesta. Some of them were awake and stared in unabashed curiosity at our group. This annoyed Alex greatly, but I find it somewhat amusing.

When we arrived we were served lunch by the pastor's wife, Raquel, and some of her friends and fellow church members. Oh it was SO tasty. Raquel had whipped up some homemade salsa verde that was so good I asked her for the recipe.

After lunch it was decided that we would ride back to the church instead of walk. Alex, Matt, Jacob and I piled into the pastor's car, a little VW bug (the original style)... and held on for our dear lives. I am not easily shaken by the way people drive, but Hacinto excelled at it. Never in my life have I passed five cars on the left in order to get ahead of slow moving traffic while playing chicken with an oncoming bus. I lost count of how many times I was certain we were going to sideswipe someone or hit something. Either that man really believes in the divine protection of God or he isn't too concerned with how quickly he gets to go see Jesus. Yikes.

We arrived safely back at the church and quickly discovered that there simply wasn't enough work for all 20 of us to do. No more than perhaps four people actually found things to help with. I sat down and wrote in my journal, some of the girls sat around and chatted, the boys played soccer with some of the Mexican kids (including 60-something-year-old Fidencio) and the rest of our group worked out lesson plans for the crafts and games.

Eventually our group met for prayer and we spent some time talking about alternate plans for the afternoons because there isn't enough work to do. Tomorrow we will be going to a market place and viewing some gardens along a canal. Wednesday we will be going to a park to play with neighborhood kids and do some evangelism/outreach (which I'm not too sure how I feel about because tracks are supposed to be involved and I know most Americans find those corny). Thursday we will hang out with our families (which I'm also not too sure about because my host fam doesn't seem to do a whole lot in the evenings). Friday is for packing and then a farewell party at the church. As far as tonight's activity, it was a prayer meeting with the church members at Domingo's house.

We walked and along the way I pondered what several people back home had told me when they found out I was coming on this trip. Everyone kept saying that it would be life changing. So far nothing has seemed to be life changing (granted we are only half way through our time here, but still). I asked Alex if he thought it was all hype and he told me that he thinks it is a lot of hype and that a more realistic approach is a willingness to have your viewpoint and perspective changed by the people you are with. That is not to say that God won't reveal something new to me in a powerful way, but if all I come away with from this experience is a greater appreciation of another culture and have a broader sense of and love for God's people, rather than some intense mountain top experience, I think that will be enough.

When we arrived at Domingo's house I could the man was well to do. Unlike in America where a person can be in debt up to their eyeballs and have a super posh house, in Mexico if you have a nice home you got money. Domingo's house was lovely. The outside was a pleasant shade of rust colored orange and he had large windows and the very first wooden door I had yet seen. He also had a yard and kept some chickens in a pen off to the side. Inside works of art hung on the walls and the floor was covered with large, colorful area rugs. We sat down on a comfy sofa underneath a large window while we waited for the rest of the church members to gather.

Suddenly the quiet conversation was interrupted by a loud and jarring noise.
WHAM! BUCK-UCK!
A chicken had dived bombed the window directly above the couch we were sitting on and was scrambling to stay perched on the narrow window ledge. Upon further investigation I discovered that Domingo's chicken coop was actually built right next to the house and you could look into it from the window. I had to laugh. Only in Mexico would a prayer meeting be interrupted by a kamakazi chicken.

We opened the meeting by singing and our group sang Psalm 121 in English for everyone because the Mexicans could read along in Spanish in their Bibles. Afterward we divided into groups and spent time praying for each other and various needs of the church. I really enjoyed the prayer time and realized that lately I have been far too focused on myself and my own problems regarding my unemployment. It has been consuming my thoughts and is really bringing me down. I want to focus my thought life more on others and I resolved to not pray for myself again until we get home. Please don't misunderstand. It's not that I am trying to minimize my problems or my feelings, but rather that I felt God's command to put others before ourselves applies to our prayer and our thoughts too. While I'm on this trip I don't want to think about what's at home. I'm here now, with these people in this place, and that's what I want to focus on.

The prayer time, for me, was far too short. When we were all finished we were served a very delicious dessert that was some sort of mix of chopped apples, pecans and fluffy white sweetness. It was so good that both Alex and I had seconds. It was dark when we left and we walked home with David, a few other Mexican teens and a few of the girls from our group. It was chilly and very windy, but the city lights were gorgeous. It was the first time I had been able to see them and they stretched on for miles, twinkling and shining like endless strands of Christmas lights.

When we got home Alex was exhausted and he went right to bed. I spent some time talking with Lucio. He had his laptop out (our family has internet and wireless) and so I booted up Yahoo!'s Babel Fish to aid in the conversation. It was very helpful and I was able to tell him about Alex's job at Baker and the fact that I had just lost my job.

All in all it was a good day. Tomorrow we will go the market place. I am looking forward to that.

Sunday, July 26, 2009

Day 3: In which we attend church, have a potluck and get lost in translation

Alex and I came downstairs, dressed and ready for church by 8am. The service didn't start till 10:30am but we were told breakfast would be at 8. However, this is Mexican time so we didn't really get to eat till about 8:30. But it was well worth waiting for. I had never had hot dogs fried with scrambled eggs, but it was very tasty. Margarita made my day when she gave me a bottle of ketchup to use. Slowly the family came down one by one and everyone just kinda ate whenever. We were sort of expecting everyone to sit down together and eat at once, but now that I think of it I am not sure where that idea came from ^^'' Alex actually went back to bed for a little while at one point.

When we were finally ready to leave we, Lucio, Andres, Margarita and Cesar piled into the family car and drove the five minutes to church. It was pretty much uphill the entire way. We made a sharp right turn down a narrow road and Lucio pulled off to the side (which almost looked like a nearby house's yard). We got out and walked down a pathway to a set of wide stone stairs. We split off to the right and walked down a confining alley that was bordered by tall brick walls on each side. To the left a pale yellow, metal door was swung open to reveal a set of adjacent stone steps. We walked up these and found ourselves in the church's courtyard.

The courtyard was paved with concrete and contained with tall, smooth, off-white walls. Directly in front of the steps was a large, beautiful bush adorned with bright purple flowers I could not identify. To the left was a large green barrel filled with water and next to that were two small bathrooms. The bathrooms' doors were metal (I was beginning to wonder if I'd ever see a wood door in this country) and each was narrow, perhaps only 4' wide. Each had a small sink held up on thin metal legs. The toilets, much to my dismay, did not have toilet seats. I had been told that many toilets in Mexico don't have toilet seats. Apparently something we as Americans consider so essential is sort of looked at as an extra but unnecessary feature to a bathroom. Sort of like a lid cover or a jar of potpourri. I'm happy I've been working out; hovering is easier when your quads and hams are strong.

Directly in front of the bathrooms is a set of wide stone stairs that leads up to the sanctuary on the second floor. When you walk up the stairs there is an open area like a patio that has a white metal railing around the outside. The sanctuary has two sets of curved, double doors made out of pretty pieces of colored Plexiglas and white metal. Inside the adjacent wall is lined with large windows, and all the walls are the same off-white shade seen on the outside. The floor is covered in a shiny, caramel colored tile with a simple geometric pattern on it. The seats resemble a cross between a traditional wooden bench and movie theater seats. They fold up when no one is sitting in them and they are not bolted down to the floor so they can easily be moved when needed.

When the service began I was delighted; we sang a lot of songs. I actually knew several of their English equivalents. We also stood up and sat down a lot and I wondered if the heavy presence of Catholicism in the country was responsible for that. After the pastor gave his sermon (very precious little of which I was able to grasp) he asked us all to greet one another. Normally I don't care for greeting time in church. I often feel like it's forced, fake and doesn't make any difference or foster any sort of connection between people. This time, however, I actually enjoyed it. We sang a very bouncy, happy song and walked around blessing one another.

After the service was done their was Sunday School. They actually divided it like this: married men, married women, and young people. I thought that was strange. What if you were not a young person and also were not married? Where would you go? But it seemed that there were no stragglers wondering where they belonged, so perhaps there is no one who falls into that catergory at that church. I guess I shouldn't be too surprised. A question I hardly get asked in America is if Alex and I have any kids. We've only been married for three years and just in our mid-twenties, so in the US we're pretty normal. But so far I think every person I have told that I've been married for three years has followed that information with a question of if we have a baby yet. It doesn't bother me, and everyone has seemed quite accepting of the fact that Alex and I have decided to wait a while. But it is a difference I have noticed.

I felt frustrated because I wanted to be with the young people but I am a married woman, so in the end I decided to stay with the women's group. I was joined by Gina, Alice and Jane, the other three adult women on the trip. My frustration grew because I understood hardly a word of what the women were talking about and it sounded like a very good conversation. Everyone seemed very open with each other, and more than once some women shared some personal goings on in the families that brought them and others to tears. I was impressed by the openess that I sensed in this group, in this church family, and wondered how it could have come so easily. Is it just a cultural difference? Or perhaps this was truly an exceptional group of closely knit church members.

After Sunday School we all gathered in the fellowship hall downstairs. To get to it we had to go down the stairs outside of the sanctuary, through the courtyard and in through another set of the colored Plexiglas and white metal curved doors. In here the floor was concrete and one of the walls was lined with large windows. Directly in the back an industrial, sliding metal door was open to reveal a large opening in the wall that led to the back portion of the church's property.

We shared a potluck meal (which of course was delicious) and had group meeting after. Scott let us all know who would be doing what the next day, whether it was going to be construction or VBS. When he told me that I'd be doing VBS I will admit I was scared (for those of you who have read previous posts of mine, you know that large groups of children scare me and I really have to pump myself up for it). The fact that there was going to be a huge language barrier made me feel even more uneasy. But Alex pointed out that this was theMexican's VBS, and if there was a problem they would handle it. It helped me feel better, but I was still a little worried.

There was a short evening service at church where we sang more songs, and then it was time to go home. Lucio drove, like usual. But in the back seat was me, Alex, Margarita and 5-year-old Debbie, who sat on my lap, and in the front Andres shared the seat with Cesar. It's just the way things are done here. People don't wear seatbelts and you pile as many folks as you possibly can into one car because it's all you have! Usually folks don't have to drive very far, and because of all the topes you end up never going very fast anyway. Although the traffic is still somewhat unnerving.

Back at home we shared a lite dinner and got a chance to chat with the family. Thankfully Lucio knows a little bit of English and he seems eager to pratice. He is easy to speak with and slowly we are able to hash things out. Mistakes still get made, however. One had to do with my hairstyle.

Before we left I had done my hair up in corn rows so i wouldn't have to fuss with it while we are here. Lupita, Margarita and Michele complimented me on it, and I wanted to tell them what we call them in America. We took out our dictionary and looked up the word for corn. When we said it they all looked at Alex and me with confused faces. Alex glanced at the dictionary again and discovered the word we had used for corn was the word for the kind of corns you get on your feet. Very embaressed but completely amused with our error we found the correct word and we all had a good laugh. Lupita said that they looked like churros to her (which are long, slender, deep-fried pastries that you can sometimes find at carnivals in the US), and so we decided to call the style that instead.

Things are going well. Tomorrow we get to work!

Saturday, July 25, 2009

Day 2: In which we tour the ancient city of Teotihuacan and discover the Mexican sense of time

Alex and I are snugglers. We actually find it difficult to sleep when the other is not there. I find that with most of my married friends one of two things happens; either neither of them are snugglers and all is well or only one of the two are snugglers and someone just has to adjust. That's why I'm thankful both Alex and I were already wired the same way when it comes to sleeping. Honestly, it comes in handy. Many of you have heard about how the first night we were back from out honeymoon we discovered someone else living in my house and had to sleep in a twin bed at Alex's old house (if you haven't heard that story, ask me... it's special). So even though there are two twin beds in the room we are staying in, we slept in the same one. There is just something about the idea of sleeping in separate beds that Alex and I can't resolve. It just feels wrong to us. So call it weird but it works for us.

Anyway, it rained heavily last night and I was thankful because it shut up all the stray dogs and allowed us to sleep soundly. Good thing, too, because our day started very early. Before the roosters started crowing, actually. And there are a lot of roosters in this city. We had to meet up with our group by 6:30am so we left our house while it was still dark and walked through the barely conscious streets of Oztotepec with our host dad, Andres, as our guide. He didn't say a word to us as we walked, but I could tell he was concerned with our well being. He sort of reminds me of my own father. It could be the fact that they are both bald in the same spot and have the same endearing smile/laugh lines on their faces, but regardless I think I'm going to become rather fond of him by the time we leave.

We walked up a very steep hill (the same one Lucio had driven down backwards yesterday) and passed by a few other early risers (people waiting for the public buses to take them into Mexico City for work) and a myriad of stray dogs. We met up with our group in front of some public government building to wait for a tour bus that had been rented by the church. As the minutes ticked by and the sky continued to lighten our group slowly gathered, each escorted by their host families. By 7am we were all accounted for... and our bus still hadn't arrived. When it began to rain we all walked just a little further up the street and took shelter in a nearby church member's house. No one was really perturbed that the bus was so late, but we were all wondering why. Eventually Alice explained to us that the bus was coming from Mexico City and that despite the fact it only had about 30 miles to travel the traffic is so horrendous that it was being held up. Since we were not the ones in charge of things nobody in our group minded the delay. Neither did the Mexicans we were with. To them it was normal and not a big deal.

Our bus finally arrived around 8am and we all piled in. It was a nice touring bus with big windows and cushy seats, very much like ones I have ridden in America for various events. During the two hour ride we ate "breakfast" which consisted of ham and cheese sandwiches (made with whole wheat bread, thank you Margarita!!), pears and the biggest juice boxes I have ever seen in my life. When we arrived at the park we got off the bus... and waited again.

As it turned out there was a miss-communication between our hosts and our group about tickets. I am still not entirely sure what the problem was. In the end all I could gather was that the pastor had needed to drive separately and hadn't arrived yet and that he either had the tickets in his possession already or needed to purchase them for the group once he arrived. Again, no one seemed to mind so we just found out of the way places to sit and took the opportunity to practice our Spanish with our new Mexican friends.

There were peddlers hanging out around the park entrance (I'd quickly see that they were only the beginning) and it didn't take long for them to descend upon our large group. They sold all kinds of pretty looking jewelry, knick-knacks and toys. Several of them had these strange whistles that mimic the call of a jaguar. I had to smile when I saw a few of them selling little sets of bow and arrows with the name of the park painted on them. Somehow it just gave me a warm, nostalgic feeling inside to know that Americans aren't the only ones who try to make a buck off of the Native peoples who used to live where a Walmart now stands. In the words of Ben Folds, "let me tell y'all what it's like watching Idol on a Friday night in a home built safe and sound on Indian burial ground." Ahhhh the smell of exploitation and commerce in the morning :)

When we finally got the tickets all settled we walked along a very lengthy driveway and passed by a group of people dressed in some colorful traditional garb and performing a very interesting ceremony. There was a large pole, probably about 30 feet high, with a square, rotating frame resting on top that had five men seated upon it, four on each side and one in the middle. They were playing some music on whistles and drums and turning the frame they sat upon so that the man in the middle faced each cardinal direction (north, south, east and west). After the man in the middle had greeted each direction the four men on the sides dropped backwards off the frame and very slowly, upside down and upon lengths of rope, were lowered to the ground as they swung around the pole in an every widening circle. When they were finished, grounded and upright again, they came to greet our group and Alice and Fidencio explained to us that they were from a region in Mexico that is know for it's vanilla. The men who had performed were selling vanilla beans and pure vanilla extract. It smelled WONDERFUL and I almost bought some but decided not to because I wasn't sure if I could get it through customs.

We moved on to the park entrance and ended up waiting some more because someone decided that having a tour guide would be a great idea. We milled around the park entrance (which included a lane lined with tourist-trap shops, a small fountain and bathrooms) for a while and eventually a man that looked very much like an aging Mexican cowboy (hats, boots, ID-sized-belt-buckle and all) greeted us in very clear English. He led us into the park and I had to catch my breath.

Against a backdrop of clear blue sky and fluffy white clouds stood a large plaza, several small pyramids and one large pyramid. Each was made of stones that varied in color from ivory to tan to red. I was very thankful for our tour guide because he was able to tell us so very much about the history of the place, the culture of the people who had lived there, and what went into restoring the abandoned ruins. He informed us that what we saw today were actually modern reconstructions built upon the few remaining bases of the original structures. Unfortunately time and Spanish Conquistadors had taken their toll on what no doubt had once been a magnificent city. Only one of the pyramids had been slightly protected from the elements because of another structure that was right in front of it. The original stone stairs and original carvings of Quetzalcoatl (the feathered serpent god of the Aztecs and Toltecs) could be seen. I was still incredibly delighted to see the place, however (check out this posting on wikipedia if you'd like to know more about the place http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Teotihuacan).

We walked along a very lengthy and wide street that was called The Way of the Dead and climbed up a smaller pyramid before making our way to what was left of the residential district. The entire time the peddlers were tireless. I got to hand it to them for being so persistent. I heard many of them say the same phrases in English which included, "Almost free, eh?" "Take a look" and "For you, only such-and-such pesos!".

At one point a group of people dressed in costumes that resembled the garb I had seen in several pieces of Mexican artwork depicting ancient Aztecs came into the park, dancing and playing some drums. Both Alex and I watched for a few minutes and realized we had seen pretty much the same type of dancing at American pow-wows. We asked our tour guide about them and he told us that the people dancing just did it for the tourists and there was absolutely no way to know if what they were doing was even remotely close to being authentic. I will admit to being slightly disappointed and actually even just a little offended because it almost seemed a mockery of the modern pow-wow in America.

The main event of the tour was reaching the Pyramid of the Sun. It was originally 246 feet high and had exactly 365 steps; one for each day of the year of the Aztec calendar. So what do you do when you find an ancient structure with usable stairs? You climb it, of course. Mexico's high elevation made it difficult, but it was well worth it. What a view! We rested for a while before climbing back down. After we quickly toured a small museum on the grounds of the park that had some original artifacts and a model of what the city had looked like during it's peak.

After this we exited the park on the opposite side and walked through another market place. We were informed that this would probably be the only chance we'd have to buy souvenirs, so Alex was on a mission. He wanted a poncho. Or a sarrape. I am still not sure what the things is called. But it's a long piece of woven cloth that slips over your head. He looked at a few and found one that has a very nice blue and white traditional pattern woven into it. We paid about 20 American dollars for it. Lord knows if we could have gotten it for less or not, but it's very nice and looks good on him. So he was happy.

By now it was lunch time. We left the market and walked down a street that was lined with restaurants. Now instead of peddlers hocking their wares there were restaurant employees armed with menus. They waved them in your faces and shouted things like, "Come eat here!" in English and Spanish. Thankfully the pastor had already selected a restaurant for our group and I had to laugh because, I kid you not, it's name was La Canada. I was in Mexico and I was about to eat in Canada. We sat down and had our choice of meals. I decided to try authentic chicken fajitas and they were delicious. They were served with fresh blue corn tortillas and awesome salsa verde and red, chipotle salsa.

Our bus was parked right next to the restaurant so after everyone was done eating we headed home. Unfortunately Lucio is the only one in our host family who speaks even just a little bit of English and he was nowhere to be found tonight. Communication was difficult between us, Margarita and Andres, but we all tried our best and managed to get quite a few smiles and laughs out of the evening (probably over our fumbling Spanish). We were offered a snack and some decaf coffee (Nescafe is surprisingly good despite the fact that it's instant). We managed to get across that we'd like to shower and so Andres lit the pilot light for their water heater.

Three more things about water in Mexico: it can be expensive, it can be hard to come by, and their water heaters are not constantly on like ours are. In fact, some homes don't even have a shower and you wash with a bucket over a drain or a toilet. We were told that when we shower to get wet, turn the water off, soap up then turn the water back on and rinse off. I think our host family has a rather small water heater because Alex showered before I did like we were told and I ended up with no hot water. He said I may not have let the hot water run long enough, but I am not sure. I am exceedingly grateful that I chose to do my hair in corn rows so that I would not have to wash it much. Hopefully my next shower will be warm.

Tomorrow is church. Both Alex and I are looking forward to it, despite the fact that we won't understand much of it. Singing is fun in any language, however, so hopefully we'll do a lot of that.

Friday, July 24, 2009

Day 1: In which we travel, travel and travel some more, and meet Jesus.

16 hours. Day 1 was largely composed of 16 hours of travel. 22 hours if you count the pseudo slumber party we had at the church the night before we even left. Because we all had to leave at 3:30am in order to get to Chicago, Scott, the youth pastor and team leader, decided it would be best if we all came to the church at 9pm, packed the vans with our luggage and just slept there until we needed to leave.

Only about half of the group actually slept. I was feeling far too wired and ended staying up watching old episodes of "She-Ra: Princess of Power" on You Tube. Five of the other team members (Julie, Samantha, Katie, Kendra and Betsy) stayed up chatting and making some rice they found in the church's kitchen when they got hungry at about 1am.

At about 3:30am five other church members arrived to drive us all to Chicago O'Hare. We stumbled in a sleepy stupor into the vehicles and arrived at the airport around 6am Chicago time. Normally, if it is at all possible, when I travel I like to use only a carry-on and no checked luggage at all. I was reminded of why when it took nearly an hour for our group to get checked in (the fact that we had about 20 bags to check might of had something to do with it, but anyway). The flight from Chicago to Houston was uneventful, as was our 2 hour layover (Houston's Airport is very nice, btw).

When we got on our next plane the flight attendant rattled off the usual safety spiel first in English and then in Spanish so fast it would make Speedy Gonzalez's head spin. The further south we flew the more mountainous the terrain below became. Every now and then I'd see a small town clustered around the foot of a mountain or the thin blue strands of rivers rolling out like veins over the brown and green landscape. When Mexico City came into sight I was amazed. It sprawled on for miles and easily dwarfed any American city I had yet seen.

Upon landing we had to fill out some paperwork (one form we signed declared that we did not currently have the flu) and go through customs. The airport itself was actually smaller than I was expecting and fairly unremarkable. We were met by two of our fellow church members, Alice and Fedencio, who had gone ahead of us (they had lived in Mexico for most of their lives and still have a house and family here). The church's pastor, Hacinto, was also there to meet us, plus two other men, Domingo and Jesus (I told you we met Jesus ^_^). We made our way to the parking garage and piled into two passenger vans and 1 SUV.

And that was when the culture shock began.

I had been told that Mexico City was a rough place, and I have been to some rough, rundown cities in the US (downtown Detroit, for example). But nothing I had been told or experienced before quite prepared me for what I saw.

First of all, everything is made of concrete and metal, and almost every door and window has bars over them. The buildings really are rather unattractive; no one seems concerned with aesthetics in the architecture. Most are just plain squares and have metal garage doors that slide up and down to close or open the shops that hide safely behind them. Most often you can still see the gray bricks that were laid to form the walls of the buildings (meaning they were not covered with a layer of concrete after being laid) and they are not painted. The city is mostly gray with random splashes of bright colors here and there. But that brings me to my second observation.

The splashes of color are usually from graffiti. It's EVERYWHERE. On nearly every vertical surface someone has spray painted something. And because hardly any of it is actually artwork (meaning a mural of some type) it only adds to the dilapidated, dirty and dingy look of things.

Third, the traffic is amazing. Mexican roads are a lot like roads in Japan; incredibly narrow. Take rush hour in Chicago, make all the cars about 6 inches apart and have everyone disregard the stop lights and you've got traffic in Mexico City. Oh, and then there are the peddlers. People selling all kinds of beverages, snacks and even produce walk between the cars and offer their wares. It seems to me that they are risking their lives for a few pesos, but then again I'm an ignorant foreigner. That very well may be all the money they make that day and it's well worth it.

The fourth observation are all the stray dogs. I simply cannot believe how many of them there are. I lost count of how many I saw as we traveled. They are very used to people and do not seem unfriendly at all. Some are fat, some are skinny, but none of them are neutered or spayed (Don't ask me how I know that. No, seriously, don't ask). I am SO thankful for the ASPCA and the Humane Society in America.

Our only adventure in the city was stopping to buy some bottled water and exchange our money. Alex stayed in the van and asked me to pick out a Mexican soda for him. The store was busy (and small) so I grabbed the first can I saw that looked liked soda and got in line. While I was waiting I read the can and saw the words "con Tequila" and realized I was holding a cooler and not a soda. Since it's a church trip I decided liquor most likely was not appropriate. I quickly put it back and grabbed an orange soda instead.

When we finally did get out of the city I had only one clue; the air was fresh. Other wise things looked pretty much the same. The roads became more steep and curvy as we made our way out of the basin that Mexico City sits in and up into the hills of the outlaying urban areas. Aside from the few small farms we saw here and there (mostly growing corn) everything looks the same. All the buildings are still crowded together in a haphazard manner, they are all still made out of concrete and metal, and there is still grafiti and a massive amount of stray dogs everywhere. There were also the topes (pronounced toe-pays), which are speed bumps so big that you would wreck your car if you do not slow down. Apparently they are new additions because there is not the man power to enforce the speed laws.

I was struck by how this way of living is completely normal, just business as usual, for the millions of people that call this place home. I know that I could get used to it, or if I grew up in it it would be normal for me too, but I will admit to wondering how people can live this way. I had to do an attitude check and remind myself that if someone from Mexico came to America, they might wonder at how we can live the way we do, too.

At about 7pm we finally arrived at Pastor Hacinto's house. He has a small yard where cars are parked and a swing set that visiting children use (his daughter is grown, but I get the impression their house is quite busy). Outside there is a set of narrow metal stairs that lead up to the apartment above (rented by someone else who is away) and a large open area. Several of our group climbed up there and took in the view. It was beautiful; green hills dotted with clusters of buildings and houses as far as the eye can see against a back drop of blue sky and white, cotton candy clouds. From there you can actually look down into Mexico City and, unfortunately, see the thick cloud of smog that constantly enshrouds it.

Inside the pastor's house we were served a meal of spaghetti with meat sauce and steamed veggies. Eating and drinking in Mexico can be tricky. You can't drink the water from the tap (which means you can't brush your teeth with it either and you have to keep your mouth closed in the shower), you can't use the ice, and you can't eat fresh fruit or veggies unless they've been washed with purified water or peeled. Thankfully our hosts families were all informed of that before we arrived.

We met our host family shortly after dinner. An older woman named Margarita, who doesn't speak any English, greeted us and walked us over to an awaiting white chevy. In the driver's seat was Margarita's son, Lucio, who is also the music minister at the church. We drove about five minutes to their home (I was very impressed with Lucio's ability to drive backwards down a narrow hill that had one hairpin turn).

The house was quite unlike anything I had yet seen. The front is nothing more than a flat yellow wall with a black metal door. Directly above there is a red, metal awning that is partially covered with a yellow, slightly mold-speckled tarp. Above this, on the perpendicular, is a large window and another black metal door. Underneath a stretch of ceiling another window can been seen further back from the front door. Up above you can see strings of clothes lines and a large black tub (too big to get your arms around and probably about as tall as me) of reserve water. When you step inside the home you realize the tarp is there to keep the rain out because the entrance has been left open on purpose. It's very much like a small courtyard. It is small, perhaps only 7'x6'. It's floor is covered with a lovely, carefully laid ivory and tan tile. Directly behind the door is a stairway with a wood paneling banister that turns at a 90-degree angle halfway up and ends at the second metal door that can be seen from outside.

Upstairs there is a small landing area and 4 bedrooms. Each bedroom has a black metal door with a window in it. Each window is covered with some faded squares of fabric to offer the occupants privacy. The bedroom directly to the left of the stairs was given to Alex and me. The floor is covered with tile, the walls are a cheerful yellow, and there are two twin beds (one wood and one metal) shoved up against the walls. The room is small and so there isn't space for anything else except a very narrow, built in desk and wall shelves which hold many books and a few cds and dvds. These sit directly to the right of the room's door, along the same wall. The opposite wall and the perpendicular wall are made up almost entirely of large windows that are covered with lightweight drapes to offer privacy from the street below. In our room there is a small door that leads to a small storage area and a small, full bathroom. It is narrow, only 3' or so wide, and painted a medium shade of blue. The shower is a walk-in and has a sliding black door filled with clouded, yellow plexiglass. It looks like any American bathroom save for one small detail.

Most people know that you can't drink the water here in Mexico, but what many don't know is that you can't put toilet paper in the toilet. The sewage lines simply cannot handle it. So instead there is a small waste basket that you drop your used paper into. They empty the cans everyday, but I will admit it will take some getting used to. My new mantra while we are here is "In the can, not the toilet. In the can, not the toilet!"

Alex and I were exhausted from our day of travel and our hosts seemed eager to get us settled so we could rest. But before we hit the hay they introduced us to the rest of the family. And, wow, do we have a big host family! Margarita introduced us to her husband, Andres. Lucio's two sisters are also in the house, Mary and Lupita. Mary and Lupita's children are in the house as well: Samantha, Michelle, David, Cesar and Debbie (who looks to be about 4 or 5 and is SO stinkin' cute I can hardly STAND it). I'm not quite sure yet who belongs to who exactly or where Mary and Lupita's husbands are, but I'm sure I'll figure it out later this week.

Tomorrow is a sight seeing day for our group. We are going to check out some pyramids!

Tuesday, July 14, 2009

New Experiences


About 20 minutes from where I live there is a tiny little downtown are called Ada. If you blink you will miss it, yet it is one of the most affluent parts of Grand Rapids. The downtown is quite literally not more than a few blocks but it is home to many boutiques, salons, shops and restaurants, including a gourmet grocery store named Grand River Grocery.

When I was employed at Baker I was a part of a group of nine women who were all about the same age. We called ourselves Baker Babes. Many of these gals have remained my friends during my unemployment and I am quite fond of them. Every Wednesday at 9:30am we Baker Babes would pile into one or two cars, depending on how many of us were available, and go to Grand River Grocery to get coffee at the Starbucks that's inside. Once during our weekly coffee run, right before I was let go from Baker, I noticed a sign on the door of the store that advertised a need for a chalkboard artist.

Now I can't draw. At least, not very well. That's why I chose photography and graphic design; I have machines to create the pictures for me. I can draw simple things, and cutesy cartoony things, but when it comes to drawing anything more than the outline of say a pear, I am not that talented. But ever since I had seen job postings for chalkboard artists at Trader Joe's, I thought maybe it was something I would like to try. Unfortunately there are no Trader Joe's in Grand Rapids. So when I saw this, I just had to ask.

Much to my delight the manager, Georgia, wanted someone who knew more about type layout than drawing. Once I showed her that I could reproduce different fonts by hand using chalk she gave me the responsibility, agreeing that we would barter for my services rather than have her actually pay me. Gives a whole new meaning to starving artist when you are literally drawing in exchange for gourmet cheeses, organic produce, fine wines and Starbucks coffee.

The photo above is of the first chalkboard I drew yesterday. It took five hours. I thought it would only take one and a half, two at the most. Surprisingly, things take much longer by hand than they do on a computer. There is also a certain lack of precision when you are writing and drawing things by hand. All the letters and spacing are not perfectly uniform, and if something isn't quite centered I can't just use an arrow key to nudge it to the proper position. I imagine that I will eventually get faster at this. But drawing with chalk is actually a new experience for me. Yesterday was full of new experiences.

I got to ride on a friend's sailboat, swim on a private beach, and drive a scooter. Then there was the chalk thing.

Saturday, July 11, 2009

Short on money, long on time, big on love

Alex has told me that when he was a kid and he wanted to do something that was too expensive for his family to afford his parents would often answer, "if you've got the money, honey, I got the time."

Up until recently time was something I've felt I've never had much of. When I was working 40 hours a week I felt every precious second of every live-long-day needed to be used to it's utmost potential... and it seemed like my wish list of things I wanted to get done never, ever received the coveted check mark signifying it's completion (for those of you reading this who have children I am reading your thoughts... just wait until you have kids!). With the exception of wishing to satiate my HUGE desire to travel and to learn the tango, most of the things I wished I had time to do actually didn't require money. Most of the time all I wanted to do was finish up a sewing project, read a book, call a friend, spend quality time hanging out with my husband, practice guitar, write some thank-yous or bake.

Lately I've had nothing but time on my hands. It's freeing. It's exhilarating. And it's overwhelming.

For the first time since high school I've been given a brief window of opportunity to have all the time I desire at my disposal to do with what I will... and not be worried about money at the same time. Don't get me wrong; the date of August 12th when my severance runs out is still looming in my not so distant future and I am working hard to find employment again (my portfolio is almost finished, w00t). But for now... what to do?

I challenged myself with the usage of my new found free time last Wednesday by volunteering at my church's summer camp for kids. I like children. They bring out the wild, creative silly side in me and I LOVE playing and giggling with them. But I will be the first to tell you that large groups of children SEVERELY FRIGHTEN ME. I could never be a teacher. The idea of managing 30 curtain-climbers for any length of time nearly causes me to faint. I helped lead the 4th graders. Thankfully there were not 30 of them. But there were only two of us (leaders) and fifteen of them.

Before I tell you how things turned out, let me tell you why I did it. Time is our most precious commodity. In fact, it is the one thing that we can always give. Whether you are rich or poor, young or old, educated or uneducated, time is the one thing we all have in ample supply. It is often, too, the one thing we are most stingy with. Many of us would much rather write a check to support a ministry or foundation than actually drive some place and offer our hands and feet to get some work done or meet a need. I am one of those people myself. Sometimes it is fear that stops me. But usually it's laziness or selfishness.

Don't worry; I'm not about to turn this post into a bleeding-heart-liberal-granola-crunching-tree-hugger-indi-rock-elitest-snob diatribe of "You should feel bad for being employed and having money and living in the suburbs" and beat you over the head with a big, all natural stick of Social Justice.

We all have time. And God calls us to do different things with our time at different points in our lives. As Alexander is fond of saying, where would the ministries that help the hungry and homeless get their funding if there weren't people working full time jobs to earn the money to put in the offering plate on Sundays?

Up until eleven days ago, God had called me to earn a paycheck working 40 hours a week, and that meant I simply did not have time for some things. As I mentioned earlier, when I was employed my time was most precious to me, and I often chose very carefully how I would spend it. I would get down on myself if i felt I had wasted time, or if I hadn't accomplished everything I wanted to in a given evening or weekend. But now, things are different.

I thought for sure that with my new found free time I'd end up focusing on just getting stuff done that I had been meaning to get done for the past three years (one day, black-ankle-length-skirt I will finish sewing you!). But oddly enough, God has laid four surprising desires on my heart: rest, re-evaluation, fellowship and volunteering. I have yet to touch my sewing machine, but I have spent a lot of time getting to know my husband better. I have yet to touch my guitar, but I have spent a lot of time in prayer, searching my soul to figuring out what I want and what God wants for me in a career. I still have a stack of cards to write and send out, but I have enjoyed some wonderful time with friends and getting to know some people from church better. I have yet to run off to Hawaii (although I have applied for a job in Honolulu), but I did spend an afternoon with a bunch of 9 and 10-year-olds talking about God while drawing pictures in charcoal before singing songs with hand motions.

If you're working that full-time job, then God bless you and I pray He gives you a generous heart and makes you a wise steward of your money.
If you're busily raising kids right now, then God bless you and I pray He gives you patience and wisdom and edifies what you are doing daily (don't you dare ever let anyone make you feel like what you're doing isn't important... none of us would be here if it weren't for mothers).
If you're volunteering and serving the homeless and needy right now, then God bless you and I pray He protects you and gives you resilience and the strength of spirit that you need to deal with the brokenness of humanity.
If you're a student right now, then God bless you and I pray that He will give you diligence and dedication to achieve excellence in your studies, and that He will guide you in your future career choices.
And if, like me, you are job searching right now, then God bless you, and I pray He will give you patience, peace and wisdom, and that He will sustain your spirit with hope, and that you may find joy in discovering new ways to use your free time.

No matter where you are in life, and no matter what you are doing, I encourage you to check in with God once in a while, and be open to His promptings. You just never know when He might ask you to try something new or give in a way you haven't before.

Oh, and the summer camp? I'll probably go back on Wednesday.

Thursday, July 09, 2009

Groovy Old Man vs. Lazy Young Man

I affectionately refer to my dad as a Groovy Old Man. He's not actually that old, just barely retirement age. But I think it's the lack of hair on the top of his head, the salt and pepper color of the hair he does have on the rest of his head, his awesome mustache and bushy eyebrows, and the way his face scrunches up delightfully whenever he smiles and laughs. The fact that he drives a black Corvette, is currently restoring a 70's El Camino, and plays the bass guitar help too.

I got to see him yesterday for lunch. For those of you who don't know, my dad lives on the east side of the state while I reside on the west. Normally it's a 2.5 hour drive, but when you fly it only takes about 30 minutes. That's one of the benefits of Dad having been a pilot for thirty some odd years. Since I first moved to GR for college back in 2000, whenever he has a trip out here he calls me up and we have lunch.

Over breakfast at IHOP he asked me how things are going and I said that I was doing alright. That actually, I was enjoying my time off right now. He said he couldn't do that, that he had to always be working. He said it's a guy thing.

I'm not so sure if that's true. I've known an awful lot of guys in my life who were more than happy to not be doing anything with themselves. Some of those guys, I am sure, still list their priorities as follows:
1. Bandwidth
2. Newest games
3. Cigarettes
4. Booze
5. Computer hardware
6. Game accessories
7. Food
8. Girls

More often than not these priorities were funded by donations to our local plasma bank than by any kind of job. Maybe it's a generational thing more than it's a guy thing?

Either way, this girl wants a job and I don't plan on it being full time at the blood bank.