Tuesday, September 14, 2010
The Streamlined Omelet
Omelets are a go to meal for me. I LOVE eggs. They are good for you and so tasty. Omelets are totally customizable and a great way to get more veggies into your day. Naturally it is easy to make them not so healthy, but by using lean meats like turkey or chicken and lowfat cheeses it's a great addition for a healthy lifestyle. You can put pretty much any kind of meat, cheese, bean and even rice in these fluffy pockets of breakfast delight (although really they are good any time of the day). They are a cinch to pull together, but if you're feeling intimidated don't worry! Here are my best omelet making tips for your enjoyment.
Before you even get your pan out gather and prepare your fixins. Scramble your eggs, chop veggies if you're using them and set out your cheeses and/or meats. Having them ready to go will make everything a little less crazy.
The next important thing is to use the right size pan. I like and 8" skillet for a 2 or 3 egg omelet. Give it a good coating of nonstick cooking spray and place over high heat on your stove to warm up.
If you are using onions or peppers, I recommend sauteing them for 3 or 4 minutes and then removing them from the pan. They taste fine raw too, so just go with your personal preference. If you do saute them, be sure to remove them from the pan and recoat the pan with cooking spray before adding your eggs.
You want your skillet to be nice and hot before adding the eggs. I mean, like just shy of burning the cooking spray. Once it's hot pour in your scrambled eggs. And turn the heat down to low.
Grab your spatula (small is best for this) and gently lift up one edge of the omelet. Tilt the pan and let some of the uncooked egg that's sitting on top run underneath. Repeat this process on different spots on the cooking omelet until you can't coax any more of the eggs to run underneath.
Add your fixins. I recommend putting your cheese down first, if using, and placing it just a few centimeters from the edge of the omelet. This way it acts as a seal for the edges when it melts.
Let the omelet cook for just a minute or two, then it's time to fold the edge over. I like to lift up the side of omelet and actually pinch the edge with my fingers, gently pulling it up and over like a bed sheet while using the spatula to help me. Once you got it folded over put it a bit on top to cement everything into place. Let it cook for just a minute more and your creation is ready!
Thursday, September 09, 2010
Roasted Tomato Chicken Soup
It's officially early autumn now that Labor Day has come and gone, but you wouldn't know it by the local farmer's market. The apples, squash and pumpkins have started to arrive, but copious amounts of fresh stone fruits, berries, melons and tomatoes line the stalls. I decided to take advantage of the fruit before it disappears until next summer.
I've had this soup recipe for probably three years and just never got around to making it. You don't have to add chicken if you don't want to (if you'd prefer vegetarian use vegetable stock) and feel free to switch up the spinach with some other kind of leafy green. Fresh herbs work well in this recipe, too. Believe it or not, despite the tremendous amount of tomatoes at the Farmer's Market no one had any fresh basil. Go figure. As always, the longer you can let it simmer on the stove the better. Be sure to serve it with a grilled cheese sandwich or some crusty bread.
Roasted Tomato Chicken Soup
- 2 lbs Roma tomatoes
- 2 tbsp olive oil
- 5 cloves garlic
- salt and pepper to taste
- 2 tbsp tomato paste
- 1 quart chicken stock
- 2 tsp dried basil
- 2 tsp dried oregano
- ½ tbsp balsamic vinegar
- 2 cups diced, cooked chicken
- 2 cups chopped baby spinach
Preheat oven to 375 and quarter the tomatoes.
Place tomato halves, cut side up, on baking sheet with garlic cloves. Drizzle with oil and sprinkle with salt and pepper. Roast in oven for 1 hour.
Snip the ends off garlic and squeeze the insides into a blender. Carefully add the entire contents (juices, tomatoes and all) of the baking tray. Add stock, tomato paste, basil, oregano and vinegar. Blend until smooth.
Place soup mixture into a large pot. Add chicken and spinach and cook over medium heat, stirring frequently, until spinach is wilted. Cover and let simmer over low heat for at least 30 minutes. To serve, scoop it into bowels and sprinkle some parsley and Parmesan cheese on top.
Monday, April 26, 2010
Creativity Outside the Box
I understand that we've got one creative God. I mean, with something like a platypus, how could you think that God isn't creative? Personally I believe the reason humans are so driven to create is because we were made in the image of a creative God. It's us imitating our heavenly father.One of the biggest reasons I felt so ok with leaving graphic design as a career behind and switching to nursing is because I knew it would be easy to integrate the desire to create into my regular life. Something I've come to understand well over the past year is that business and pleasure are two VERY separate things for me. That is not to say that I cannot enjoy a job. Far from it. But what it does mean is that I don't think I can do something I find "fun" as work, nor can I work for "fun". One of two things will happen: either the business will overtake the pleasure or the pleasure will overtake the business. Either way productivity will fall. I find it funny that my dad warned me once about going into art as a career. He said it might end up not being fun anymore. For my brother that was not true. But for me it most certainly was.
I've been out of the office for almost a year now. In a way you could say that I have been outside of the box (no more beige cube, yay!). I value what I learned while working as a layout designer, but I can honestly say that I don't miss it. I still get the urge to make things pretty frequently, however. And I can always tell when I'm overdue. I get cranky.
All work and no play makes me an unhappy gal! My husband gets cranky when he is hungry but I get cranky when I haven't been creative for a while. Usually I remedy this by baking something. Not only is it quite cathartic, it's tasty. But sometimes I need something more involved in that. That's usually when I pull out the sewing machine.
As finals approach their end the creativity bug bit again, and out came this cute little shoulder bag. Took about five hours total to put together, and I feel better now. Time to hit up the books for the last mile.
Sunday, April 04, 2010
Shhh... just roll with it.
But this post isn't about eating more rabbit food (rabbit trails, maybe). It's about yet another twist in the story of my pencil-written life plans.
I was accepted into Grand Valley State University (Yay! Go, me!) and met with an adviser last week to talk about what classes I needed before I can apply for the nursing program. I have been assuming, based on careful calculations, that I would be ready to apply this fall and if accepted I would start in the winter. However, during my session with the adviser the word "prerequisite" and then the words "not met" were quickly followed by "have to take". Little did I know that the laziness of my youth would come back to bite me over a decade later.
When I was 16 I took AP Biology in high school. For some strange reason that I cannot recall now I didn't take the AP test for college credit. Somehow I managed to get through my first stint of college without this biology credit, but I will not be so lucky this time around. It has come back to haunt me in the form of BIO 120: General Biology I.
I tried to weasel my way out of this class. I emailed a myriad of people, made some phone calls and even checked to see if I could test out. The result? Utter and complete fail. It seem I have a summer date with an introduction to cell structure and physiology, growth and development, and genetics.
Needless to say, I was less than thrilled with this prospect. I passed Anatomy & Physiology with a perfect A: shouldn't that show my extreme prowess in the world of introductory biology classes? Apparently not. And this one, single little general biology class has thrown my carefully laid plans off track by one whole semester.
In addition I was informed that Grand Valley requires a semester gap between the time one is accepted into the nursing program and the semester that one begins the nursing program. Hence, I have now been pushed back TWO semesters. With this renewed schedule, assuming everything goes smoothly, I can expect to graduate from nursing school in the spring of 2013.
You should think that I would be used to this by now and that perhaps it wouldn't surprise me, having my plans derailed. But it's still rough when life forces you to readjust, especially when you are in a hurry. I was miffed. I was angry. And I was very, very unhappy.
It was time to have a what-the-frig-conversation with God.
I'm thankful God welcomes me into his presence no matter how I am feeling. He must be God if He can consistently do that. I know I am not that gracious, patient or loving with others. I prefer to deal with people who are happy, or at the very least are calm. I was neither of those things when I told God how I felt about His timing regarding me becoming a nurse.
The most wonderful thing I have discovered about unrestrained prayer like that, however, is that God does indeed meet with me. While I may not feel overly joyful after I have spent time spewing my frustration, 90% of the time I feel at peace. This occasion didn't fall into the 10% category.
Through the sheer grace of the Holy Spirit I was able say to myself, "Ok, there is nothing you can do about this. So instead of focusing on what you can't have you might as well focus on what you can do, instead." Quite suddenly the entire situation didn't seem to horrible. Basically being forced to be a part time student for the next year leaves me with a lot of time to focus on other things, or work part time should the need arise. I can take some other classes just for sheer interest if I choose, or I can increase my volunteer hours at the Pregnancy Resource Center.
I'd be completely lying if I said that I didn't mind the delay. But I also trust God. Lately I've been discovering how I can kinda wonder what God is doing but still feel at peace about it and trust that if He decided something is going to go down differently than I had planned or hoped, there is an amazingly good reason for it. More importantly than that I can trust that it is for my benefit.
I'm still flying by the seat of my pants. And in a way I guess you could say that I'm cool with it. I'm beginning to think that if I didn't delight in change as much as I do, things would be much harder. But God made me; He knows I prefer to do my best to just roll with the random things that come my way. And really, since He's the one who is in control, there is not a thing random about what happens in my life. I'll take my time getting into nursing school since that's what God wants. And I'll take my time finding just the right vegetarian rice bowl, too.
Saturday, January 30, 2010
You're Gonna Need a Jumbo Bandaid For That One

Did you know that Americans love failure? Really, we do.
But only as the backdrop to success.
The people we hold up in high regard in this country are those who pulled themselves up by their own bootstraps out of terrible adversity and now have the money, the career, the happy family... those are our success stories. Rags to riches, ash piles to gold piles. Honestly I do not think that there is anything wrong with a good success story. Kinda gives me hope.
But what about just plain, painful, smacks-you-in-the-face failure? I'm sure you know what I'm talking about. Those times in your life when you try to accomplish something and it ends horribly, like by epic proportions. And it's so bad that you really can't do anything but stick the mangled idea in the corner, hope you forget about it and that over time the stinging red mark left by your colossal belly flop won't hurt so much. Sometimes you just can't redeem certain things.
Usually, however, you can at least move forward. I've heard many people say that you're only a failure if you quit. Well, does that statement account for changing directions? Some might consider the fact that I decided not to keep pursuing graphic design after I was laid off as me having failed in the art field. The truth of the matter is that I'm being Icelandic about it.
Did you know that Iceland is considered to be one of the happiest places in the world? Seriously. A study was done about it recently. It's hard to believe considering that they live in darkness for half the year (sun doesn't come up in the winter time). It could be because they all drink a ton on the weekends (but if you touch even half a glass of Merlot during the week you're a lush), but I think it has a lot more to do with their typically close knit communities and a sense that it's perfectly acceptable to fail... and then not have to redeem it. It is unusual there for a person to have just one career all their life. People reinvent themselves many times over their lives, even well into their later years.
There is an old, extremely campy song that goes, "when you fall down, pick yourself up, dust yourself off and start all over again". The song is entirely too cheerful for the subject matter, especially because each time you fall down it gets harder and harder to get up. And after awhile your strength runs out.
Alex and I both have been feeling pretty exhausted lately. But I can say that God has been teaching us some truths during this time. Mostly that we don't have control over anything in our lives (not even our thoughts or speech) despite our best efforts, and that eventually our own strength isn't enough to get us through. Right now, we both just want to take a break (although it took me much more longer than him to admit that... God in His wisdom saw fit to not have me marry another energizer bunny; thanks God!). Alex put it perfectly. He said that the best thing for us to do right now is to rest in God's strength and wait on Him.
I'm an independent person. I was raised to take care of myself and figure things out on my own. I'm thankful for that, but it gets me in trouble from time to time. Mostly it makes me pushy. I gotta wonder if God is ever amused by me trying to bully Him. I know Alex isn't when I try to bully him. Resting and waiting is not something I'm very good at. I do like to pick myself up, dust myself off and start over again. And I like to do it RIGHT NOW.
But another song also plays in my ear:
In Christ alone my hope is found
He is my light, my strength, my song
This cornerstone, this solid ground
Firm through the fiercest drought and storm
What heights of love, what depths of peace
When fears are still, when strivings cease
My comforter, my all in all
Here in the love of Christ I stand
I'm not very good at waiting. But God's word is full of instruction to do so. And God knows I'm not very good, so I don't at all find it surprising that this verse in Psalm 37 just came to my attention:
Pass the jumbo bandaids, please.
Wednesday, January 06, 2010
Big Prayer Sticks and a PiƱata God
God is not a pinata, my prayers are not a big stick, and He will not spill out goodies from heaven if I just beat hard enough.
It seems to me that most people think praying is like writing a letter to Santa Claus. All too often I have fallen into the trap of believing that good little Christian boys and girls always get what they want if they do all the right things, behave the way God wants us to, and pray hard enough.
What a lie.
Where exactly did we get this idea? And why is this "gospel of prosperity" is so prevalent in our culture? We belittle God when get angry at Him for not giving us what we want. We are like selfish, bratty children demanding our way and then throwing a tantrum when God doesn't get with the program. And yet, we do. I know I do.
I am going to be 100% honest and admit that I am a selfish person and I wish life were easy. I do not want to struggle, I do not want to feel pain. I want everything to be happy and fun all the time and live a life of blissful luxury. And somewhere along the line I was deceived into believing that God was supposed to supply all that to me. But if God were nothing more than a genie in a bottle, a servant whom bent to my every wish, whim and want... He would not be God, would He? I would. And I know that when I am demanding my own way and expecting God to get on board that is exactly what I am doing: I am attempting to reverse our roles.
Lately I have been greatly challenged with the question if prayer does not change God's mind or cause Him to act, then what is the point of praying? Have you ever wondered that? Even as I typed those words the extreme rebellious, control freak nature of the thought was revealed. WE change God's mind? WE cause God to act? Oh, our hearts have not changed since Eden! Here I am, thousands of years later still trying to be like God.
Up until recently I have been somewhat mystified by the concept of prayer. I tend to be very trusting of God's word and most often even if I don't understand something I do my best to take in on faith that if it's in the Bible then it must be true. Since the Bible is full of commands to pray at all times in seasons for all reasons, I would pray. I did not always understand why I should pray, just that God calls us to do so.
Because His word promises it, I believe that God always answers prayer. Perhaps you have heard before that God's answers are either yes, no or not now. Maybe you have heard that too much, but I encourage you to not dismiss it as cliche. And if you have never heard that before, I encourage you to consider it now. I can think of times in my life when God answered yes, and I can think of a few times in my life when God answered not now then said yes later. I can think of many, many more times when God said no. Recently God has been telling me no a lot.
Alex did not get into the Air Force.
Terry did not recover from her cancer.
Our friend Jeff did not survive his car wreck.
I don't understand why. I may never, ever know why. And yet I still believe that God is good and that He cares for me. How can I? Because He walks with me. So often when we pray it is to ask God to take away pain, for us to be able to avoid suffering. In some ways I don't think there is anything wrong with that desire. If a person enjoys pain they are usually suffering from and emotional/psychological disorder. No one who has a healthy mind wants life to be difficult. But the fact of the matter is that no one can escape pain and suffering. Not even Jesus.
And that is when prayer becomes precious. During the deep valleys of our life, when everything is crashing down and it feels like it is too much to bear, God is the only thing in all of creation that can get us through the pain.
I don't have the eloquence nor the ability to effectively unpack the reasons for prayer. Below you will find a link to a sermon from Mars Hill Church in Seattle by Pastor Mark Driscoll. Alex and I listened to it recently and through it God granted me a better understanding of what prayer is and why we should do it. I encourage you to listen to it. It's long, but it's worth it. Download it and listen to it in your car the next time you have a long drive somewhere.
http://www.marshillchurch.org/media/pray-like-jesus/the-gethsemane-prayer
I will end by saying that I've come to understand that the purpose of prayer is not to make God get with my program, but to allow me to enter into His presence and have my will become aligned with His.
Why do you pray?
Monday, December 28, 2009
About Grief
Did you know that you can experience a small death? There are many things in this life that we simply do not have control over and often our desires are thwarted by them. We dream of the way our lives will go, we make our plans, and we work towards building and creating the world in which we want to live. This is a good thing. God created us with the ability to hope and dream and create. But sometimes, despite our best efforts and intentions, those plans don't quite work out and we are faced with loss.
Most people tend to think of grief as being a result of the death of a person. And while it most certainly is, that is not all there is. Grief is defined as keen mental suffering or distress over affliction or loss; sharp sorrow; painful regret. How often in your life have you wanted something so badly and worked for it so hard only to have it kept or taken away from you? You probably grieved over the loss, over the small death of your dream and efforts.
Losing a job is a small death. Or even a lack of being able to attain a job in a particular career field is a small death. Growing up with the belief that you would raise your families together with your brother or best friend only to discover you aren't living in the same state is a small death. Infertility and divorce also fall into this category.
When Terry died I was made aware of how differently grief effects each person. The way I feel is not the same way my husband feels, and the ways in which we feel is most certainly nothing like the way Terry's family feels. The hole left is often something that I know many of us wish we could just cover up and pretend is not there. I think that's why we say things that really aren't helpful in an attempt to comfort each other.
In Terry's case, many people have said things like "It's good that she is not suffering now" or "She is completely healed with Jesus". Both are very true, but neither does little to ease the suffering of those who are left behind. Our hearts hurt, and rightly so. Sometimes people make the mistake of believing that Christians should not grieve, but that is severely erroneous. Of all people in the world grief is one of the most appropriate reactions for someone who follows Jesus because our hearts are keenly aware that things are not as they should be. All forms of sin, all kinds of self-destructive behavior, sickness and especially death are the tell-tale-signs that our world is broken. Scripture tells us how much this grieves God. And it should grieve us, too.
Since Terry's funeral I have read and heard the word's of the apostle Paul many times that we do not grieve as those who have no hope, and I have wrestled over what that means. There is no where in the Bible that says we should not grieve, and scripture is filled with a myriad of examples of Godly men and women who were wrought with grief. Even Christ's heart was burdened with sorrow. God never promised that we would have an easy ride. But He did promise to walk with us through the valleys, and to give us peace, comfort and hope. And I believe it is the addition of hope to grief that staves off despair, and that is what makes the difference.
When someone who follows Jesus dies, there is a very big difference in the death. Death would be a final, irreversible separation from God were it not for the sacrifice of Christ. Jesus made a way for us back to God, and it is through His way that our world can be made right. When a Christian dies, the soul that death would claim is snatched from its grasp by Christ, and so death loses it's prize. Terry did not lose the fight with cancer; the cancer lost the fight with God.
I know I will see my friend Terry again. I wish that she were still here with me, with her family, now. I wish that cancer did not exist and that it did not separate her from the people who loved her. But I do know that I will see her again, and that God will help us all to walk on.
Monday, November 30, 2009
Edge of Eternity
Twilight befalls my troubled mind
I lay unmoving at your feet
I wait for a sign so grandiose
Are your words unheard in my defeat?
I still want to hear what I want to hear
But I need to hear what I need
Will your promises carry me tonight?
Lifting me high as the world drags me down
A willing puppet on a string
The strings are in your hands
I confess I’m afraid you’ll jerk me around
I’m so tired of trying again
Will you walk with me tonight?
Through this darkness, through this valley
Lead me to the light
I fear I’ll never hear what I want to hear
But I’m more afraid of what I need
Will your promises carry me tonight?
Lifting me high as the world drags me down
Just a puppet on a string
The strings are in your hands
And I’m afraid of what you’re going to do now
As I dance on the edge of eternity
Echoes of forever are stirred with each step
And as I dance I can see you at my journey’s end
But I don’t know how to get there yet
Redeem my past
Secure my future
But just don’t leave me here
If I must stay then please dance with me
How long must I
Learn these steps?
Just help me make it through
Make it through just one more day
Of dancing
Of dancing
Of dancing
Near eternity
Friday, November 27, 2009
At Last It Feels Like Home
I received a very nice compliment from our pastor's wife a few days ago. She told me that I make wherever I live feel like home.I will unabashedly admit to having entirely too many wall decor items for my own good. Since my husband insists on using the bookshelves for books instead of decorative items like any frequent viewer of a Pottery Barn catalog will tell you they are supposed to be used for, I am forced to hang everything on the walls.
When we were first married I went a little crazy. It became apparent that we couldn't afford for my apartment to look like something out of the pages of a Martha Stewart Living magazine so I think I overindulged in what we could afford, which was picture frames. This past move, we actually gave away a lot of items we had that weren't getting much use or that I had discovered I didn't actually like all that much. It felt good to whittle down my collection. I was left with mostly photographs of family.
It's important to me to personalize my living space, and it's also important to me to have visual reminders of the people who love me. When someone comes over to my home I love being able to show them who I'm talking about when I mention Mom or Dad or one of Alex's many siblings. And that's what makes a place feel like home. It is not matching furniture (we still don't have anything that matches, but it's comfy and I like it ^_^) or perfectly arranged books and knick-knacks, but reminders of love. Mine are hanging on the walls all around me.
I still find myself longing for a replica of a Crate & Barrel display from time to time, but when Mynda (our pastor's wife) complimented me on being able to make wherever I live feel like home I know that's not what she meant. Think about your favorite place on earth, the place you feel the most comfortable, warm and safe. It's probably not the show floor of Ikea, is it? I really used to think I needed that in order to have a "nice" home, but when I think about my favorite places to be it always involves people more than decor or furniture.
I finally managed to get all of my decor hung in the new apartment this week. The old addage is a little cliche, but I realize just how true it is. Home is indeed where your heart is. Better Homes & Gardens and Martha Stewart may try to convince you otherwise, but take it from someone who has lived four different places in the last three years and managed to always feel at home. My heart is on my sleeve, on the walls of my abode, and with each person that I love. All I need to do is look around my family room and see that I am indeed home.
Wednesday, November 18, 2009
Lately I've Been Feeling Low
Amidst the struggles I've questioned what I'm doing. The harsh reality is that at bare minimum my schooling endeavor will take another 2.5 years to complete. There is just no way around it because of the program's clinicals. I simply cannot go any faster. That is daunting, because I feel as though all I've been doing the last 4 years of my life is waiting. It isn't as though Alex and I haven't been growing or making any sort of headway. We are actually very close to paying off one of our student loans and I know that we have both matured in our marriage and deepened our faith. But there is something about not having a career that you feel fulfilled in and are excited to grow in that seems to leave an overshading.
Perhaps we have become fixated? It is difficult to say. Oddly enough, whenever I start to feel blue about our career/schooling situations I start to have whimsical fantasies about working in a cute bakery. But then I remind myself about what a sweet deal I have going on with being able to attend school for free, and that working in a bakery is something I can easily do at any point in my life.
Dave Ramsey often says that children do what feels good, adults make a plan and stick to it because delayed gratification shows maturity. I believe it and I want to live it, but... darn it, I'm tired and I want a cookie.
Friday, November 06, 2009
Twenty-One Days Later
We had an AMAZING turn out of people to help us move. In fact, we had so many people that there wasn't enough for everyone to do! Our church family really stepped up to give us a hand. The move went well, especially compared to the last time when we moved in February and about a foot of snow fell that day.
I have been loving walking to school everyday. I am so thankful to live in an area of town that has a high volume of pedestrian traffic. Even in the early morning when it's still dark I feel safe because of how many other people are walking to work and school. I've also been enjoying having time now to use the weight room at school (perfect timing because of the quickly turning weather) but I have yet to make use of the pool.
The apartment itself has been good, but required some adjusting on my part. I am not, for example, used to radiators. Neither is Alex. At first we thought some strange hissing, banging creature was in the walls until we opened up the bathroom door and realized the heat had turned on. Those things are amazing efficient; there are only two in the entire apartment and we have regularly been opening up the windows to rid ourselves of the sauna like conditions we often find ourselves in. I am expecting that to be wonderful come January, but for now I keep my shorts and tank tops handy. I am readjusting to the lack of the conveniences of a garbage disposal and a dishwasher, but thankfully we did not have to live without a microwave thanks to the generosity of some church friends who happened to have an extra one in their pole barn.
SO far my favorite thing is the huge bay window we have in the living room that looks down to the tree lined street below. The window stretches nearly the entire length of the wall and goes almost from the floor to the ceiling. It lets in so much daylight and I love sitting in our glorified bean bag (the love sac) in front of it while I do homework.
I've been stressed, but I've been equally blessed, and I am so thankful for God's provision and love.
Friday, October 16, 2009
How in the world did we get so much stuff?
I am contiually amazed at how much time college eats up when you actually do the things required to get good grades. Not that I didn't have good grades the first time around. I actually did pretty well. But I was also an art major. No studying required. Just playing with cameras and computers and spending hours in the dark room. That's certainly not the case this time around.
Let me state for the record I am SO impressed by people who do this while they are raising children. How in the world do you find the time? I can't even imagine trying to study and learn all the things I have to know while managing a bunch of curtain climbers. Eventually that might be my situation depending on what I decide to do with future schooling (a masters for example). But for now I am simply concerned with the proper care and feeding of my husband, as well as us moving to our new apartment tomorrow.
Things have been challenging this week to say the least. Alex has been working so hard to fill in the places that I have to skip out on because of my studies. I am blessed to have a husband who is such a hard worker. He comes home exhausted from being on his feet all day long since before dawn, but still manages to find the energy to pack. What a guy!
Today is the final packing. It seems like we have so much left to do, but I think it always feels that way no matter how far along in the process you are. I never feel like Alex and I have that much stuff but once it all gets condensed into boxes suddenly I am repeating to myself over and over, "How in the world did we get so much crap? Geez, we have a lot of junk." The funny thing is that us being only semi-stationary for the past three years and having never had more than 750 sqft to our names has really helped us to keep our collection of items pretty low. Everyone keeps telling me, "Just wait until you have kids" or "just wait until you have a house". And I am inclined to beleive them. Nature abhors a vaccum, after all.
Here we go again!
Friday, October 09, 2009
The Instability of Life and the Sovreignty of God
That in a nutshell has been my life the last few years. Alex and I have not been able to make any sort of plans beyond a few months in advance, and sometimes not even that far ahead depending on our financial status. For someone who is so future focused like myself and very much a planner I've been oddly comfortable with this. In all honesty it's been maddening, scary, exciting and actually kinda fun.
I have been blessed to have two points of stability in my life. One is my marriage (thank God) and the other, much greater anchor is God Himself. As crazy as life is with all it's unpredictable ups and downs, God is always steady and stable. He never changes, He never leaves, and you can always count on Him to come through. So what does that mean? Well, it certainly doesn't mean that all the crap we have to deal with should just make us grin ear to ear like fools. Even Jesus wept and felt sorrow at the brokenness of human life. But it does mean that He cares about me and what's going on in my life. It means that when my life seems like more than I can handle, God is more than I need. He's the one being in all of the universe whom can give and give and give to me and never get tired. I can cry and scream to Him and open my hands and ask, "What the frig?". And I can consistently expect to find peace, strength and hope to help me endure.
Sometimes I think it is easy to assume that because God loves us that means nothing bad is ever supposed to happen and that things are always supposed to be perfect and work out. I will admit to being baffled most verily at the way things go down sometimes. I don't understand why some things don't work out or go the way we pictured them. And yet Jesus said that we'd have trouble in this world. He also said that He had overcome it. When you know that you belong to God, that your life is in His hands, somehow amidst the confusion and the pain there is a deep steadiness that comes from knowing the father of all creation holds you, that He is what you're standing on.
Sometimes it's easy to forget that God's hand is upon me, especially when I feel like I should be doing a better job with something or someone, or that I should have handled a situation differently. A lot of times I feel like that with my marriage which I am so thankful for! And that's when I need to take it on faith that God's got a handle on the things I don't, and His actions, plans and ways far exceed my own bumbling buffoonery. When I feel lost, He's still walking beside me, gently guiding to something much greater than I could ever hope for or even imagine.
And that's what makes the instability exciting. I am SO much more open to the workings of God than I think I could ever be if I had a "perfect" life. I honestly don't know what He's going to do next, but I can trust that it's only good because He promised.
If you are wondering what inspired this posting, it's an upcoming move. I have lived in so many places in GR in the past nine years that it's starting to get difficult to keep track. I'm thinking of making Alex and myself t-shirts that say Perpetual Vagabond. It's been good sharing a home with a friend for the past few months, but now we'll be moving closer to my school to further alleviate our transportation challenges. We weren't really planning on the move, but then we weren't really planning on getting a delay from the Air Force in Alex's application, we weren't really planning on him working at Baker again, we weren't really planning on me losing my job, we weren't really planning on the first delay we got from the Air Force, we weren't really planning on living with a friend for a few months, we weren't really planning on Alex losing his previous job, we weren't really planning on Alex's police department applications not to work out, and we weren't really planning on not being to return to Japan once we were married (thankfully we were actually planning on getting married!).
Life is just funny like that. You gotta write your plans down in pencil because you just never know when things will change. And through it all God has shown to be incredibly merciful, caring, providing and abiding in love for these two perambulating children.
So strap on a pair of strong trousers and get ready to fly by the seat of your pants, my friend. By the seat of your pants.
Wednesday, September 30, 2009
Jesus Loves You, This I Know
CC is a very diverse crowd. It's refreshing considering I spent almost the last decade of my life surrounded by a rather homogeneous crowd. I was beginning to feel a little too sheltered and was excitedly nervous for the opportunity to have some contact with someone other than a middle to upper middle class, educated person who was working full time and regularly attends church. Don't misunderstand me, I love the folks in my life who fit that description; they are fantastic people. But if you can help it, I think it's always good to associate with others from all different walks of life. It keeps things interesting and helps you to understand the whole of humanity better (I'm oversimplifying it of course, but roll with me).
Human beings are creatures of habitual comfort zones. We don't like change, and we all prefer what's familiar and easily understandable. I am no exception. It takes a concerted effort to get outside of one's comfort zone and most of the time it takes an even greater effort to find a good reason as to why we should even bother. It's not easy, after all. But I find that when I have made the effort the benefits have far outweighed the initial awkwardness. I try to keep that in mind and as a result I am not easily rattled by folks who walk different paths than me. If they are anything like me (and let's face it, we are all far more similar than we care to admit) any flamboyancy a person who is different from me may possess is most likely bravado. Usually, if you can look past it, there is a very similar, simple person underneath with the same kinds of hopes, fears, struggles and longings. Usually then end up being pretty interesting and you can learn something from them, too.
However, as I mentioned before, I will admit to finding different people slightly intimidating at times. It's natural and I'm human, so I extend myself some grace in that area, deciding that at least having a willingness to try is worth more. For me the people I wonder about the most are those who are severely antagonistic towards God. It's been a while since I've known any. In Christian circles and in our worship services, congregation meetings and Bible studies you hear much about the importance of sharing your faith and telling others about Jesus (there is something to be said about sharing your faith amongst other believers, and I feel that area of sharing faith isn't focused on nearly enough, but that's another blog entry). And that's what scary.
For some reason most Christians I know, including myself, find it hard to talk about the very God we claim to love so much. Honestly I can understand why; the whole world is tilted against us and it's easy to worry about what to say and how you'll sound and what the consequences will be. I myself have pondered those very things many times (I think it can be especially hard for people pleasers like myself because we don't like to upset others). But Jesus commands that we share what He has done for us, and really when something is so important to us we should be able to talk about it and in fact not really be able to not talk about it. I am not that great at sharing my faith. But it's something I want to get better at. And something that I know to be true, in the deepest part of my soul, is that anything God commands us to do, He will help us to do. Granted, it may be a process of growth as most things in life are (spiritual matters are NOT an exception), but I have a deep conviction that God will not fail me in areas He wants me to be strong in. I know that if I ask Him to help me become better at talking about Him and Jesus to others, He will do so.
And so I feel anxiously excited about how God will answer that prayer. I've certainly come across many people here in the past month who don't seem to claim Christ. And I've met a few who seem to claim Christ. Mostly I have been watching, waiting and listening, praying from time to time when I hear certain things spoken. In Craig Gross's new book Jesus Loves You, This I Know, his overall theme is that any meeting you have with any person, Christian or not, is an opportunity to love them and to show them God's love. That's it. Really it takes the pressure off when I remember that Jesus does the changing of a person's heart, not me. I am commanded to share. I am not commanded to convince. It also helps when I remember that I don't need to defend God. I don't need to protect the Bible, and I don't need to defend God's honor (I think someone who placed the stars in the heavens and carved out the ocean's bed can take care of himself). All I am commanded to do is love and share.
Everyday I come to school I spend a little time in the student commons of the music building. I have a locker in that building I keep my guitar in. A group of regulars hangs out there during various parts of the day and many of them are becomming familiar to me. One such student is a young man who has spoken somewhat vehemently against the church on a few occasions. Since none of his comments were directed at me I haven't spoken up about anything he's said. I feel sorrow in my heart over the things he has said, but also knew that trying to talk to him during those times could have possibly turned into an argument that would have done more harm than good. And so I have watched, listened, waited and prayed.
Today when I walked into the student commons he was sitting at one of the tables with some of the other students and he was tearing bits of pages out of a small Gideon's Bible that some men had passed out on campus a few weeks earlier. He held it up to me and asked, "Have you had your daily dose of fairytales today, miss?"
I smiled and replied as I walked to my locker, "I don't think they're fairytales."
He snorted and dropped his head to the table. His friends laughed. And nothing more was said.
I left the room, marveling at how the Holy Spirit had dropped the words into my mouth for me. I do not know if more extensive dialogue will develop out of what happened today, but I know I don't need to be concerned with the results. When God gives the opportunity my job is to pull weeds, maybe plant a seed, and let the master be concerned with the growth. And regardless, one thing is for certain:
Jesus loves you, this I know.
Friday, September 25, 2009
Calculator how I love thee... let me count the ways
The instructor decided, I am assuming unknowingly, to torture me by having a non-calculator portion of the test. I am thankful that the class period is two hours because the non-calculator portion of the test took me a little over an hour. I checked and rechecked and erased and redid and stared so hard at the paper I almost burned a hole right through it and the table underneath it. I swear at one point smoke was coming out my ears and the numbers in one linear equation jumped up and started doing the Chacha.
Regardless I survived. I think I actually did ok, but we'll see when I get the test back next week.
Sunday, September 20, 2009
The Importance of Persistance
On Friday I had called up the automated unemployment line for my bi-weekly check in. This week I had to answer a few questions differently, however, because I had started school. At the end of the phone call MARVIN tells you how much your check will be for. This week he said, "A check cannot be issued at this time. You must call the inquiry line. Goodbye."
...
...
... WHAT?!
This was about a DEFCON 3 (see my entry titled A Debate, A Desire, A Dream, A Decision for more details about that). Mostly I was worried because I have tried to call the Unemployment Agency a few times in the past and each time I was on hold for about 30 minutes before the system told me to try to call again later and booted me off. Why should this time be any different? A series of thoughts ran through my mind, including how maybe this unemployment thing really just isn't worth it and I should just look for a minamum wage part time job or that Alex and I could just eat once a week to save on groceries.
But reason won and I reluctantly dialed the number for the agency, set my phone to speaker mode, and put it down on the table next to me while I surfed the internet. Alex came home while I was waiting and he told me about his day. I checked the phone and saw that I had actually made it past the 30 minute mark. A small glimmer of hope sparked to life within me. Could it possibly be that I might just get through to someone today? My friend Emily told me that the folks on the inquiry line were very nice and quite helpful to her. Did I dare to hope?
Alex and I got a snack and some drinks and sat down to talk about our budget for the month. I checked the phone again and saw that it had been about a hour. I've got the commercials they play on the hold line memorized now. Now my hope was beginning to get fiesty. I shook my finger at the phone and said, "You'd better not boot me or I'm sending you my cell phone bill!"
Alex got on the computer and I started reviewing my biology homework. Suddenly the hold music stopped and the line rang. I grabbed the phone and turned it back to regular mode, breathlessly waiting with it held to my ear. Would I hear a real human voice or that cursed "No one is available to take your call," phrase. And then it happened. The voice of an angel said, "Michigan Unemployment Agency, how may I help you?"
I literally squeeled with delighted relief and exclaimed, "AH! I am so glad to be talking to real person!" The lady on the other end laughed and I continued, "Seriously, I've been on hold for an hour! I'm so glad you answered!" She expressed her sympathy to me for having to wait so long and asked me what she could do for me. I explained the issue and she said she could help me. At one point she asked if she could put me on hold for just a minute while she checked something. I gave a nervous laugh and said, "Yes, but only if you promise me you're going to come back." Within a few minutes the problem was resolved and she told me how to avoid needing to call them again in the future.
All in all I am thankful for Unemployment, even if it's a pain. Really it's worth it. Alex and I would be struggling greatly without it. So what's the moral of the story?
Be persistant. Nice ladies will put money into your checking account.
Monday, September 14, 2009
The Bowels: You Move Me, Baby
The past two weeks (holy wa, 2 already!?) have shown me just how fascinated I am by the human body. It's gross and complicated and beautiful and simple all at the same time. As much as I have been enjoying my guitar classes, anatomy wins the favorite award, hands down. The way God put us together is truly amazing. And it reveals his logic. Something Alex often talks about is how the God of the Bible is different from any other god in that we can actually know Him. God is mysterious, yes, and we certainly will never be able to fully understand Him, but He can be known. I have come to understand that one of the ways in which we can know God is by studying nature and science.
During the early years of American intellectualism the study of science and christianity went hand in hand. It was not until much later that the two became divided when man became falsely convinced of the superiority of his own intellect (if we were so smart you'd think we woulda figured out by now how to fix our screwed up lives, wouldn't we?). There was a time when people studied our world because they believed that God created it in an ordered fashion that could be understood and would make logical sense. Studying the body has shown me just how very true that is.
In anatomy there is a rule that structure determines function. Your bones are put together in such a way as to allow you to move and manipulate your environment. Even down to your very cells God built everything in your body to work a certain way, and it's functioning is simply an amazing, complicated, delicately balanced work of art. How beautiful!
We will be starting our cadavar labs in a few weeks. I am so excited. I hope I don't throw up.
Tuesday, September 08, 2009
In search of a feeling
There is something incredibly different about being back at school now that I'm in my late twenties and I've done this all before. I suppose the biggest difference is I have such a clear idea of what I want and what I'm after. The sense of purpose I have discovered is the biggest driving force behind my newfound enjoyment of academia. The first time I was in college I wasn't quite sure what I wanted to do. I switched majors three times. And if I am completely honest with myself I will say that I was absolutely, without a doubt much more concerned with my social life and friendships than I ever was about my degree. I do not regret the time I spent at Calvin. The shared experience I had was wonderful, challenging and maturing. I'm glad I went because of the chance it gave me to spend some time with some great people, form some lasting friendships, meet my husband, and allow me to work in the creative industry for a few years.
Things are differnt this time around, however. I am on a mission. The OT program is INTENSELY competative. GVSU only has thirty spots open each year and beleive me, they look at your grades. That means I don't have time to be screwing around. Especially because two of my classes are so challenging: Anatomy & Physiology and Intermediate Algebra. So far so good. My profs are nice people that actually like to smile and joke around (which I find to be incredibly rare in the world of mathematics). My classes are very interesting and I'm excited about what I'm going to learn (is it sad when you get to feeling passionate about digestion?).
It all seems kind of strange to be back in college after five years, but I also feel like I'm right where I'm supposed to be and that is one of the best feelings in the world.
Friday, August 21, 2009
God cares about your class schedule

Signing up for classes is frustrating when you do it just a week and a half before classes are due to begin. All the good stuff is taking up. For me that included everything that I needed to take.
You see, the OT program is a Masters degree. I got a BA so I'm set there, but I still need to fill some prerequisite courses in order to even apply for the program. I decided that I would do this at the local community college since I was already enrolled there (I had been pondering their Culinary Arts program). Yesterday during my meeting with the adviser at GVSU I was given a list of equivalent transfer classes I can take at GRCC. Feeling solid and excited about my new chosen direction I rushed home to sign up for classes online. There were three I needed to take: Algebra, Pyschology and Anatomy & Physiology.
All three were full.
I was determined, however, and, armed with a transcript from Calvin, went to speak with an adviser at GRCC this morning. I asked her if any of the credits I had from my undergrad would cover some of the courses I needed. It was a long shot. I had been a music/art major during college and highly doubted that Music Appreciation and Art History were adequate substitutes for biology and math. But you never know unless you ask. As expected nothing I had would cover what I needed.
The adviser informed me that I should keep checking the available classes. She said that if people don't pay their tuition they get dropped from the class and that people change their minds right up through the first week of class about what they are going to take. She checked her email and told me that the system had just been reset from the day before and that I should look as soon as I had the time because something may have opened up.
I debated about checking on campus or just waiting until I went home. I found my way over to the student life office and got an ID card made (woohoo student discounts all over again!) and got some info about parking before I finally decided I might as well just look. I walked over to the enrollment office and sat down at an available computer. I checked and all three of the classes I needed were still full.
Feeling discouraged I prayed, "God, what should I do? I really feel like this is the direction you are pointing me in and I need these classes. I don't want to wait until next semester to get started." I decided to check just one more time. Mind you this was about two minutes after my initial check.
All three of the classes I needed were suddenly open and they had exactly ONE SEAT EACH.
God is amazing. His timing is perfect and He often does things in ways that cause us to see just how amazing He is and how much He truly cares about us. Even the little things! Who the heck am I that the creator of the universe should care about my class schedule? And I know He does, not just because I got what I needed but because God answered another prayer in the doing of it. Alex and I had been concerned that because I was registering so late I would end up with all night classes and we would never see each other. When God opened up all those classes for me He picked ones that would get me home in time for dinner and be free for the rest of the evening. What a blessing!
So after five years away, come August 31st I'll be a student again. What an adventure. Whoever thought being a follower of Jesus is boring never met my God.
Thursday, August 13, 2009
Close Encounters of the Relative Kind
My grandmother’s health had been rapidly deteriorating for the past few years. My father told me that he was happy God took her home. That was not surprising. But what he asked me next was. He asked me if I wanted to go to the funeral.
I will admit that my first reaction was to say decline the invitation. Riding in a car for 13 hours to go see relatives I have no connection with for something as depressing as a funeral was not my idea of fun. However, I was the only family member available to travel with my dad. Alex pointed out that it would be a good opportunity for me to simply spend some with my father, and that since I was not employed I really didn’t have an excuse. I couldn’t argue with that. And really, how heartless would I have to be to make my dad go to his mother’s funeral by himself? I know that I sure would want someone I loved to come with me. Besides, the title of this blog is “Adventures in Unemployment”, and traveling across the country with my pops to have a close encounter of the relative kind sure fits that bill.
So on Sunday afternoon my dad drove over from the other side of the state to pick me up. It’s about a two and a half hour drive from GR to my folks‘ house. It did not take long for the ease with which I converse with my father to unfold. It’s something that I’m thankful for. We stopped for dinner at a Quizno’s and talked about random things. At one point we listened to a Dave Matthew’s Band CD and Dad’s conclusion was that he had heard better. We got back to my folks’ house and I was able to chat with my mom and show both of my parents the photos I had taken while in Mexico.
At 5am the following morning we hit the road. The trip in and of itself was pretty straight forward. We talked about many things: music, God, faith, careers, family, relationships. We rocked out to some top radio hits from the 70's and I exposed him to the melodic delights of U2, DMB, Ben Harper and Jars of Clay. At one point my built in ice cream radar had me choose a rest stop that just happened to have a Dairy Queen in it. I discovered that my mother isn't the only parent that has a penchant for the sweet, heavenly goodness of ice cream.
When we arrived at my grandmother's house my dad's oldest sister, my Aunt Mona, had already arrived up from Atlanta. There was an instant warmth about her towards me and I think it is largely due to the fact that she thinks of my dad kind of like her baby. She was 15 when my father was born and pretty much raised him because Grandma was working hard to earn money to care for them all.
My uncle Gene and aunt Silvia live in a double wide right next door to my grandmother's house. For the last five years it was they who cared for my grandmother before they moved her to a home. I love my uncle. He is the closest in age to my father and looks a lot like him. He has a handlebar mustache and usually wears a belt buckle big enough to be his ID. He loves to sing and is quite the story teller. He came over to say hello, but the reunion was short because we had to get to the funeral home for the viewing.
This is only the second time in my life I have seen a dead body. And actually it is the second time within the last year (the last one was a co-worker's elderly father). I had always been a little freaked out by dead bodies because they don't look natural. You can tell they aren't sleeping and something literally looks like it's missing. It is strange to think that only after death is a person's soul visible, and it's only visible because it's no longer there and you notice it's absence. I also have entirely too wild of an imagination and even though I know it's not going to happen I am sort of waiting in anticipation for the person to sit up and scare the living the daylights out of me (one too many zombie movies I guess). Thankfully that did not happen. Grandma actually looked pretty nice.
I stuck close to my dad's side during the viewing. I didn't know anyone else, really, although I was introduced to several people through the night. Oddly enough so was Dad. He met relatives he didn't even know he had, too. It seems that many people knew and loved Grandma. At one point during the evening I slipped outside to call Alex and he asked me if I was surrounded by a war party (for those of you who don't know my dad's side of the family is Cherokee).
After the viewing Dad and I were extremely hungry; we hadn't had any time to eat dinner before we left the house. We drove down the road to a nearby place called Smithfield's and bought some BBQ Pork Sandwiches. We sat up talking with my aunt for a little while before bed.
The next morning a woman from the funeral home actually came to Grandma's house with a limo and picked Aunt Mona, Uncle Gene, Aunt Silvia, Dad and me up. We went to Bethel Baptist Church (where Dad had gone to church as a kid) for the service. I was happy because the pastors who spoke really focused on the fact that this was only a temporary goodbye and we would see Maudie Lawson again on the other side of glory.
Dad and I were the only ones who stuck around to see the actual burial take place. I had never seen one before so I was curious, but for Dad it was about closure; for him it wasn't over until the earth was settled.
There was a small reception inside the church's fellowship with drinks and snacks, but it did not take long for things to wind down and soon we were on our way home. I was not sure what to expect from my relatives after the service, but no one was terribly wrought with anguish or grief. I think it's because Grandma had been on her way out for so long that there was more rejoicing than mourning in that day. She is finally whole and happy with Jesus.
My aunts and uncle took Dad and me to a real southern style buffet for lunch. I enjoyed some spectacular fried chicken and biscuits. After that we hung out at Grandma's house until later that evening when my Uncle Albert and his wife, Gayle, came over with their 4-year-old son, J.J. I ended up being on kid duty (thanks for volunteering me, Dad!) while everyone else listened to Uncle Gene read Grandma's will. The night ended with peach cobbler and some ice cream (YUM).
The next morning Uncle Gene and Aunt Silvia came over to have coffee and chat for a bit. It was really the first chance I had gotten to speak with them about something other than family affairs, and I appreciated the opportunity. Soon, though, Dad and I had packed the car and we were on our way back up to the mitten.
I like traveling with Dad. Here is a sample of how our navigating works:
-Check GPS for route
-Double check directions printed off from Yahoo
-Find discrepency between the two and pull out road map provided by AAA
-Decide to make up our own route and delight in tourturing the GPS
-Change our minds and decide to follow the GPS
-Check the map again and compare it with the Yahoo directions and decide to go with what Yahoo says
-Make a pit stop and find that once again my ice cream radar is functioning properly (Dairy Queen!)
-Check GPS for route and decide to make up our own
-Find out that Yahoo directions and GPS are actually agreeing and change our minds to follow them
-repeat
The cool function of the Garmin is that you can look up restaurants. Dad and I had been living off of fast food mostly so he decided that for dinner on the way home we need to eat at an actual restaurant. He said he felt like popcorn shrimp so i used the GPS to search for a Red Lobster. How cool is that? We had dinner in Toledo and made it back to GR around midnight.
I wasn't sure what to expect on my trip with my Dad. But I am so happy I went.











